Nesting

2012-01-26T11:46:00.000-08:00

The other day I thought Gage was awake from his nap,
so I peeked into his room to find him curled into a tiny ball,
chest heaving slowly.

I can't remember the last time I watched him sleep.
Suddenly I was overcome with gratefulness, and love and sadness all at once.

Thinking of how not so long ago, we brought him home from the hospital and there was not much
else to do other than watch the sleeping wonder in my arms.

He doesn't sleep in my arms anymore, and though this saves my back from ache, my heart aches in its place.

I feel so guilty some days, I only have three or four months before we welcome our twins, and yes, I am excited to meet them, and to see their sweet faces and to hold them in my arms for hours.

But I feel sad because I know that each day with new feedings and burpings and time spent tending to these helpless infants will mean a day for Gage spent learning how to let go of Mama, to do things on his own.

He's only 1 year old and I feel guilty for turning my baby into a big boy so soon. I wonder if my arms will be big enough, and strong enough to nurture all three.
Sometimes I want to hold on so tight to him, and never let go. This little boy who has changed my life and my heart, and taught me more than anyone. I don't want him to change.

I'm afraid and overwhelmed by my job of raising three boys into Godly men. It's the most important job I will ever have.

How can you teach someone to love God with all their hearts, to serve him and others, to resist the desires of a sinful flesh, and to resist the enticing temptations of this sick world?

How do you teach honesty and loyalty, and hard work and chivalry?

By being, and modeling and crucifying yourself in Christ so that he lives through you.

So much of me wants to turn back time and wrap my sleeping baby up tight and hold him, safe.

But I know I can't hold him forever. I have to let go. I have to teach and be teachable.

I have to hold on to Christ. I have to allow Jesus to hold my boys while I begin the painful process of letting go even now.

Pray for me, sweet friends. Sometimes I feel so very small in light of all that I am called to do.
But then I remember that to be small is better than being too big, too strong and too independent on my own.

There's a soft place in the palm of the Lord that I will always fit into. I hope I can hold onto that truth forever.

2012-01-18T15:31:00.000-08:00

2012-01-13T12:14:00.000-08:00

I am enjoying these days with my fair-haired boy so much.
Our mornings have been extra sweet lately.
While I'm working to get breakfast on the table, I am sweetly serenaded by
singing over the baby monitor.
Then the three of us sit down together for a quick morning visit before Daddy is
off to work. Gage loves to wave him off with blown kisses!

Then he either goes straight to his play kitchen to whip up something delicious, or climbs his step ladder in the kitchen for a good view while I wash the dishes.

He follows me from room to room, babbling all the way while I gather the laundry or make the bed. He loves to do little chores like feeding the dogs hand fulls of dog food, and he loves to push the broom around the kitchen just like mama.

Pretty soon it's nap time, and he goes down with a lullabye so easily. I am so thankful for that!
I like to slip a little suitcase full of toys and books at the foot of his crib for him to find when he wakes up. It's so fun to hear the "Ooohs" over the monitor when he finds them!

We love to go outside in the afternoons, to point at trees and birds, and to get some fresh air. He is such an outdoorsy boy, just like his Dad.

And after one more nap it's soon time to welcome Daddy with a family hug at the door.
Things are so pleasant right now.

And while I'm nervous about adding two more to the mix, It's such a happy thought to think of two more boys like our dear little Gage.

Oh we are blessed!

2012-01-02T16:16:00.000-08:00

Life has just been happening by so fast lately.

I am enjoying each and every minute of it. I am leaning on the Lord for strength and energy,
and I am really enjoying my pregnancy at this point.

Not a single day goes by that I don't smile and marvel at the idea of TWO little boys growing
inside me. I look at my own little Gage and can't hardly believe my luck. I am well on my way
to the big happy family I have always dreamed of.

I look at my husband and think of the life we are cultivating together, through hard work and aches and pains, and a lot of growing and stretching. And a lot of joy. So much joy that I am fully aware that when I look back on my life as an old woman, these will be the days that will bring a smile to my face.

It's a New year, and of course I've begun to make lists... list about what I want to do differently, how I want to be different. A million little things that I want to change and improve.

Overwhelming myself thinking; how on earth am I going to cope with the arrival of three children in under two years?
I'm not clean enough, driven enough, I don't have enough energy or patience, and I love my sleep more than anything! How am I going to get through the endless days and nights, change all those diapers, nurse those babies all the while giving Gage and my husband the attention they need? What if I lose myself, gain more weight, become a dull person to be around?

It's a lot for any one person to handle. I have the tendency to want God to change me now, all at once, so I will be the super woman I think I need to be.

I think God led me to this verse to show me a different way:
2 Peter 1:5-7 (NIV)

⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷ and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.

All the things I think I need to be are possible. But they don't happen all at once. It's the little choices and the little changes and the slow and gradual molding of my heart that will transform me into who God wants me to be. Not a list of resolutions. I am looking forward to the coming year even with the knowledge that God has begun a difficult work in me that will take a lifetime to finish.

I am praying with all my heart that I can get out of the way to let him lead.

Happy 2012 dear friends!

30 Days of Gratefulness

2011-11-18T12:27:00.000-08:00

{Day ?}

Pretty ridiculous that I can't stick to posting a simple list a day for a month, isn't it?
I have been recording my grateful lists in my journal, but somehow they haven't made it to my blog.

Oh well. Se la vie.
Today I am grateful for...

A really memorable night out this week with all my favorite friends.

The answered prayers for a wonderful group of friends to share life with

Apple juice. It is the only thing I can keep down lately. Whoever heard of morning sickness that get's worse at 10 weeks? Okay, this is turning into a complaint... Sorry.

The most beautiful blue engraved bible that was dropped off on my doorstep by a "mystery someone. It felt like a hug straight from Jesus.

My too sweet for words baby who is toddling around in the cuddliest lambswool suit. He just walks around all day saying sweet nothings and giggling to himself. Heart melted.

The ability to stay home when I am sick.

My hard working husband. Oh he is wonderful.

Snow outside. Just a dusting, but so pretty.

Enjoying my family and dreaming of our family to be.

My generous mom and her gift of the comfiest BabysRus nursing rocker that I have so desperately wanted!

Recognizing what a good God I serve, and seeing evidences of prayers answered and my own heart + life changing.

30 Days of Gratefulness

2011-11-08T16:14:00.000-08:00

{Day 6}

Today I am grateful for....

A giant cup of Earl Grey + soymilk and honey. Great coffee replacement!

This song still in my head from church last Sunday

Our church. it feels like home.

Our new car. I still can't believe it!

Our business. Feeling amazingly blessed!

A phone call to my sissy

Celebrating my Grammie-in-law's birthday tonight

Progresso Soup + Crackers

That Gage still takes 2 solid naps

Our Girls Bible Study

Eating apple crisp every night... I know, horrible!

Praying for loved ones and knowing that they pray for me

30 Days of Gratefulness

2011-11-07T22:38:00.000-08:00

Day 5
Today I am grateful for...

Snuggly hugs from my tiny man
Emails from dear friends
Words of encouragement
Homemakers by Choice podcasts
Managing to get the house clean (almost)
Having our bible study lesson mirror what's going on in my life
so closely that it's spooky
The playroom
Seeing Brandon flash me a hand signal for "I love you" that
we've been doing since we were 16
Feeling lucky and chosen for no good reason at all

30 Days of Gratefulness

2011-11-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

{Day 4}

I know this is supposed to be day 5, but it just didn't happen yesterday. I've been getting these horrible Aura migraines lately, and looking at a computer screen is just about the last thing I want to do when that happens, so, I do hope you understand...

Today I am Thankful for~

A lazy Saturday home with my boys!
Cooking a large breakfast and eating it in my pajamas
Making Lefsa tomorrow with Brandon's sweet Aunt and Grandma
A last minute call to come and eat Aunt Candy's famous lasagna for dinner last night. I wasn't feeling well, but I couldn't turn down her lasagna!

Dreaming up nursery plans and wondering what the sexes will be...
Gage's newest word: "Happy!"
Watching Luna and Gage play together, they are just so sweet!
Putting together a package for a special girl, for the Christmas swap!
Thanksgiving next weekend at the Ranch! {We're having it early}
Morning sickness... As bad as it is, it helps me know that everything is going well
Finding a contact for a multiples support group... {Support group? REALLY?}

What are you Thankful for?

30 Days of Gratefulness

2011-11-03T21:33:00.000-07:00

{Day 3}

Stopping to think one million times throughout my day about the two tinies growing in my belly... It is the most miraculous thing I have ever experienced!

14 months... Oh I love this age so very much. Today Gage was in a kissing phase. He would come in close to plant the sweetest kiss on my lips, start to walk away and then turn around and do it again. Over and over... oh heart be still!

Lunch at Olive garden with Brandon's wonderful family

A sweet husband that totally picks up my slack when I'm not feeling well, and never complains

All the wonderful women in my life~ Mothers, Sisters, Aunties and Friends. Oh I am lucky.

Hand me downs. Total. Life. Savers. Keep em' coming Courtney (:

Scripture. My anxiety is amped up lately for some reason, and I hope I never forget how comforting the scriptures are.

Trader Joes!

Flowers from Trader Joes!

A darling baby boy that brings me so much joy.

I have so much to be thankful for!

30 Days of Gratefulness

2011-11-02T17:08:00.000-07:00

30 Days of Gratefulness {Day 2}

Today I am thankful for....

Being able to sleep in late, when I REALLY need it.

The gift of a toddler who sleeps in past 9!

Breakfast for Dinner

The realization that I have to consume 600 extra calories per day!

My hard working husband who does so much for us

Hearing my sweet husband tell someone that I am a Stay at Home Mom(!)

Mrs. Meyers Basil cleaner... It lifts my spirits and I don't feel guilty about using harsh chemicals

Rushing home to change into a new flannel pajama set

EARLY morning devotions because of pregnancy insomnia

Hearing Gage say new words every day!

Telling perfect strangers that I am expecting twins in addition to the baby in my grocery cart

The sweet random lady at Costco that bought me pizza today!

Hope in tomorrow and strength for today in my savior

30 Days of Gratefulness

2011-11-01T10:15:00.000-07:00

{30 Days of Gratefulness}

November is here, and I am going to join a bunch of sweet ladies in taking the time
to keep track of everything we have to be grateful for.

It's Day One, and friend, I am bursting...

Yesterday I was heading in for an ultrasound prepared to hear the worst.
I was so worried that the baby hadn't developed. That there wasn't going to be a heart beat.there
And then...
there were two.

I am thankful for my sweet husband who even though he has always told me twins would be his worst nightmare, is suddenly all a glow.

I am thankful for a good God that gives good gifts and provisions to his children. And although I am feeling quite anxious about having three children under two at once, having to buy two of everything, and let's face it... A LOT of diapers... I trust that my Lord won't give me more than I can handle. And I know somehow, I can do this.

I am blessed by my husband's prayer all whispers as we crawled into bed last night. "Lord, thank you for my beautiful wife and those two tiny heartbeats inside of her. Thanks you for all your blessings, you are so good to us!"

I think "thankful" is an understatement today.

2011-10-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

We are having so much fun dreaming about this new little one
that we will be welcoming in just 7 months.
I can't help but feel a little melancholy about the fact that my
firstborn baby is growing up right before my eyes.

Even though I am so excited to meet our new baby,
I am well aware that these sweet moments with Gage our
quickly passing, and I am determined to soak them up every way
I can. I may feel differently later, but for now, there is no rush with
this pregnancy.
I am enjoying our life so much right now.

Our days are kept full because of this cherub-faced little boy.
Who has the happiest disposition, and is a busy boy, but not a
rambunctious boy. I love his calm but active personality.
He is so much like his Dad.

His nickname is Little Man, because, well, he is just that:

The best reaction ever over his new tool set!

Thank goodness I have two handy men around!

The look that I so frequently find on his face when he is into something naughty...


Trying desperately to sneak a bite of his new favorite food: pumpkin bread.

I tell Brandon nearly every day that today I am the happiest I've ever been.
I feel like life is just getting sweeter by the moment. I hope I can hold onto
these days and forever forge them in my heart and mind.

The lazy days spent together, sharing food and conversation,
making messes and being together. I just love all this time we
get to spend as a family now. I feel like I'm getting to know
my husband all over again.

Last night (and he'll kill me for telling you this,) he bought a
coat that he's had his eye on from Cabella's, and tried it on over
and over, showing me all of it's features like an excited little boy.
We stretched across the bed and he talked about all of his wants
and needs, and dreams for hours.
Sometimes I forget that still waters run very deep.
If you have a quiet husband like I do, you'll understand what a
gift it is when he does all the talking.

Enjoying our cozy little house that isn't our dream house, but can

be in its own way pretty dreamy.

Life is good. And we are so grateful!

I've Got a Secret...

2011-10-19T11:22:00.000-07:00

2011-10-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

Did I mention that Gage turned one, three times over? We ended up having three parties for our little man.

Most recently we celebrated at my sister's new house in Snohomish. We had such fun.We party planned, baked, decorated her beautiful house together, and had some much needed sister time.

While pushing our "twin" babies in shopping carts, we had a fun moment remembering how we used to push our twin baby dolls in carriages as kids, never dreaming that it would be a reality 20 years later!

It's a total dream come true to see our babies developing such a sweet bond. And oh my, is Ashlyn Paige ever sweet. Gage absolutely adores her.

Playing with cousin Yani.

They are at that adorable age where they kiss + cuddle. It's seriously heart melting.
We had so much fun putting together a Hansel and Gretel themed bash for the babies.

They had very different reactions to the birthday cake!

Gage with his beloved Grammie-Mum

Maybe it was the sugar high, but they were both total party animals!

That is, until naptime hit!

I don't imagine that Gage will have three birthday parties again next year. Still, you can't celebrate this guy enough!

2011-10-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

I'm about to blog.
Shocking, I know!

I'm about to blog because I had an encouraging conversation with some friends last night, and it made me think twice about giving this up.

It made me miss those early connections I made through blogging, before it all became too much. It made me think about a few things.

Like how blogging used to be a way to strengthen friendships, to be there for others when I can't physically be there, or to work through the tough stuff. How it was a way to look back in an instant and to remember all that God has done for us.

And even though I'm busy, I don't want to lose all that.

So I have decided to make a few changes.
1. I scaled my blogger list down to real-life-friend blogs and no more than 10 other blogs. The rule is they have to be uplifting, inspiring blogs, not blogs that make me go crazy comparing myself to something I can never be.

{Now mind you, I still have a bloglovin' account full of all of the blogs I love that I will still check, but I wanted my blogger dashboard to be free and clear so I can be more intentional about my time.}

2. I am limiting my time on Facebook. It is a total time sucker.

3. I'm not going to fuss over my photography. Some day, I will be a better photographer/editor. Some day I will have an amazing camera. Today, I will work with what I have.

4. I will try to spend 15-30 daily blogging. Even if I am just commenting.
5. I will start try to blog consistently through Novemeber. I'm excited about that one!

6. I will focus in Psalms 126:3 "The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."

He has done so many great things for us, and I want to record those great things always.

So there you go, that's my plan. Oh it's good to be back!

2011-09-15T12:20:00.000-07:00

My baby is one. year. old.
Someone please tell me where the time went?

We started our new business which has added a whole new dimension to our lives.
We are super giddy and really blessed, but so busy that time is slipping through our fingers.

We've been working 10 hour days since we started. We have had weekend guests every weekend for almost the entire summer. I don't even remember how a nap feels.

I have always planned, anticipated for, waited for the next big thing. Next big milestone, or event to plan for and arrive at.

I am so aware of how things have changed, how suddenly these are the sweet times. How I stop looking at the calendar because future time doesn't matter, all that matters is holding on to the present.

I remember when I first took Gage home from the hospital, not so long ago... and I cried realizing how fast that first day, week, month went. I remember rocking my fresh smelling baby to sleep and telling myself to please hold on to the memory, of this scent, of the tiny weight in my arms, of my own first child.

I still feel that way every single day. When I'm awoken in the middle of the night by a fussy toddler, who doesn't fit in the crook of my arm anymore, who is more little boy than baby, and who softly whispers "ma-ma" and pats my back. Please remember.

When I find my love's lips in the dark like they are magnets to mine, Please remember.

When I'm covered in dust from head to toe from cleaning out a storage room at our facility, and it's hard work, but its the most rewarding kind of work. Or when I see the look of trust and dependence in the eyes of our residents, please, remember.

When I feel safe and confident, in my identity in Christ, when I realize that my insecurities are not as big as they used to be. And even though I my clothes are old and out of style, and I can't afford a haircut, I think I'm still somewhat adorable. Please remember.

Life lately is so full and so memorable. I feel so blessed. Every day is a new challenge and reward. Oh yes, these are the sweet times.

This is Discipling

2011-08-02T13:21:00.000-07:00

I've been to church only a hand full of times since our Gagey was born,
And this last Sunday it would have been soooo nice to sleep in, but I felt a total
tug at my heart strings to go, somewhere, anywhere.

I have been looking for a home
church for a long time, gravitating back and forth between three
different churches. I was having such a hard time sticking with one!
We have some amazing churches in Spokane, and I would be lucky to be planted in
any one of them, but I have been waiting for that warm fuzzy feeling to tell me "This is it!"
"This is the one!" Last weekend, I felt the warm fuzzies.

But not because it was the perfect
sermon, or service or perfect group of people, Mainly because I came to the realization that
there is no perfect church, only a perfect God. And that feeling a sense of belonging to any
one church will directly come from my attitude and willingness to dive in and get wet.

I am looking for a way to live my life so that "church" doesn't begin and end on Sunday.
Instead of trying to fit church, or religion, or Jesus into my schedule, I feel really
strongly that this is the year, for myself, for my spouse and for our family
to look outside of ourselves, to learn, and I say learn because it does not come naturally to me--
to serve others. To serve and to roll up our sleeves and to be a part of something.
To be a part of a community. I like this little video because it communicates exactly what I'm trying to say...
And because it has cute little stick people...(:

2011-07-27T12:07:00.000-07:00

I've been so busy around the house lately. I painted our dining room table and chairs a shiny black color, and just finished sewing some cheerful little cafe curtains for the dining room and kitchen. Brandon wasn't sure if he liked them at first, but I think they may be growing on him. The windows are so tall and I feel like they need a little something on the top. I normally don't like valances at all, but I'm thinking maybe a coordinating scalloped valance on top might be nice. Our house is immersed in the shade provided by tall evergreen trees (I'm certainly not complaining as they keep the house very cool!), it makes for poor pictures unfortunately. Here's how the dining room looks so far:

I'm totally done using green in our house, as I've now decorated the living room, kitchen, dining room and nursery in delicious shades of leafy, celery and apple green. Good thing its Brandon's favorite color, because I got a little carried away!

2011-07-19T18:07:00.000-07:00

2011-07-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

It doesn't happen often, but sometimes I am just at a loss for words.
God has blessed me beyond belief with wonderful sisters, and friends that are as close as sisters.
Sometimes in the midst of sharing in the joys and the sunshine of daily life you hit a rainstorm.
And sometimes that rainstorm isn't yours to begin with, but it becomes yours.
When a dear friend is facing a trial and is experiencing fear, uncertainty, and heartbreak, your heart strings are so closely wound to hers that you experience all of the above right along with her.
And that's where I am today. My heart is full of ache. All I can do is trust that Jesus is and does all that he promises to be and to do. And that he will hold her in the palm of his hand as she faces today, and tomorrow, and whatever lies beyond that. In the meantime, I'll be praying for both a lighter rainstorm and a stronger umbrella for my wonderful friend.

2011-06-08T11:53:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends!
Today is a lazy sort of day. A drink coffee on the porch swing at lunchtime kind of day.
Last night I laid in bed and planned tomorrow in my head:

I would wear my hair like this:

Have this for Breakfast:

And of course this:

Clean the whole house

Tackle those sewing projects...

And still have enough time to do this:

Well it's almost lunchtime, and I am still shleppin' around in my slippers. Things don't always go as planned around here. Hope you are having a more productive day than I am!

2011-05-27T13:50:00.000-07:00

8 Months old and so very busy!
Thank goodness for your high chair or I wouldn't get anything done!
But oh, baby boy, how you keep our hearts full of love.
You are a BOY in every sense of the word
You are adventurous, a risk taker like your Daddy.
You are hard to catch, but lucky for me if I manage to get a hold of those overall straps, you will give me the snuggliest of hugs... and then you are off again.
You teach me patience.
In fact, while I was writing this, I took my eye off of you for one second, to find you drenching yourself in the dogs water dish.
You helped me prioritize my life. Nothing is more important than keeping you happy, healthy and safe.
You have melted your Da-da and I into piles of lovey-dovey goo.
You are smart, silly and engaging. Your name suits you!
We love you dearly, baby boy. Every moment with you makes us wonder, was there life before you were ours?

2011-05-14T11:39:00.000-07:00

Green Enchilada's
12 White corn Tortillas
2 c shredded Mexican style mixed cheese
3/4 c chopped onion
1/4 c butter
1/4 c flour
2 c Chicken Broth
1 4 oz can jalapeno peppers
(seeded and chopped)
1 c sour cream

Heat tortillas for about a minute in the microwave until they are soft (you can also fry them in a skillet of oil for 15 seconds on each side)
Mix together the cheese and the onions in a bowl
Roll up the tortillas with 2-3 tablespoons of the cheese mixture and line them seam down in a
12 x 7 1/2 x 2 inch bakind dish.

In a medium saucepan, melt butter and blend in flower. Add chicken broth all at once; cook, stirring constantly, until it thickens and bubbles. Stir in sour cream and chopped peppers. Bake at 425 for 20 minutes.

2011-04-27T10:15:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember, I have had a dream.
A dream to have a large family. Too large for most.
A dream to carry babies safely in my womb,
then in my arms,
to raise them up in a home abundant with love,
to hold little hands,
to wipe little tears,
to hold hands growing larger still,
to raise confident, capable, purposeful children.
To always have an open home, filled with laughter
A comforting life, but not too comfortable--
to somehow give them the understanding that this life is but a blink of an eye
to raise up sweet little boys, to somehow be courageous men
to raise up sweet little girls to somehow be virtuous women
To hold the weathered hand of my love,
to swing on a creaky old porch swing with him and to know what he is thinking
to know what the crinkle of his crows feet and the slow smile pulling from the corners of his mouth means..
By the grace of our God, we did good.
Because in my short life, I have caught a glimpse of what it means to age, to wither and die.
I have discovered that at the end of one's life on this temporary earth, possessions become worthless
Bank accounts empty.
I have learned that what brings a smile to an aged face is nothing other than hope in Jesus and a dear loved one.
So it is my dream to have hope growing stronger always.
and to have many loved ones.

Wrestling for Joy

2011-04-19T13:49:00.000-07:00

Comes Easy:

New Life

Tiny clothes folded

A clean kitchen floor newly muddied by paw prints
Kisses in the dark
Chubby cheek to cheek grins that come with every new morning
Coffee Brewing
The buzzing of straight stitches
Seeing through baby's eyes and imagining all things new
Chalked verses on a kitchen blackboard
Stretching on my tiptoes for a hug

Hard Eucharisteo:

Death, because the sinner's prayer in an old man's heart is still enough
Pain while stooping for a hug
Discovering my own pride
Tears
Heavy sighs
Release
Renewal

2011-04-18T17:30:00.000-07:00

Hello, dear friend,
Although my blog is a small little corner, and I can't boast about a long list of readers,
I do love to imagine to myself about you, whomever you may be as you read my little musings.

Do you sit with a cup of creamy coffee, using the early sunshine as your light as you take comfort
in your morning blog roll?

Or do you squeeze in time after the kids are in bed, and give yourself an
excuse to let the dishes sit in their bubble bath while you catch up in blogland?

Whomever and wherever you may be, know that I consider you a friend.
I was thinking just this morning about how many sweet friendships I have to be thankful for,
due to this silly little blog.

And even though blogging doesn't always fit into my busy schedule, I will always try to keep my posts coming. For you, and for myself, and so that someday I can read these all again and remember this happy time in our sweet mint-green-cottage, with our happy little boy with the twinkliest ever-- blue eyes.

That same little boy happens to be flirting with me from his swing as we speak. Giggling to catch my attention, as if he has just heard the funniest of baby jokes, and trying hard to make me wonder what could be so humorous.

I noticed this morning that he now has three tiny teeth instead of two, and did I mention just how thankful I am that he is a happy teether?? I've just noticed that the Mr. is walking up the sidewalk home from work, so I must abandon this post as it is, in order to give him that much anticipated "welcome home" kiss.

Wishing you all a very sweet evening, even in the midst of this fickle weather. (It's snowing here, and it's almost May!)

XOXO Sweet friends!

Can you believe it?

2011-04-16T16:47:00.000-07:00

I'd better become more acquainted with my vacuum...
Yikes!

I like the way you are

2011-04-16T14:35:00.000-07:00

This phrase popped out of my mouth last night when the baby was soundly sleeping in bed
and the mister and I were wrapping up another day cuddled on the couch.
I really got to thinking about what I meant by that

I like the way he talks to our son and takes such good care of him
I like the way he throws his head back in a silent laugh at my jokes
I like the way he works really hard, fixing things all day, and then comes home to fix me
I like the way he still wears his T-shirts from High school (and looks even better in them now, just saying)
I really like the way he looks in scrubs
I like his spirit
His drive
How when I ask him in bed if he wants to pray for our family with me, he says, "I just did"
The list of likes and loves is growing longer every day.

I really, really ~~like~~ love the way he is.

I take Joy.

2011-04-15T12:54:00.000-07:00

Via Pinterest

Oh friends, today I woke up with a heavy heart.
A conviction.

Last week I complained about the pain I've been in, and it felt so good that I didn't stop complaining.

Why do I so easily trade my joy?
After everything I have learned from reading this book, I still act selfish and stop serving others in order to dwell upon my self and all things that I wish were different.

Today is a new day-- and I will make the choice to take joy in all things.

~in the chance to feed my sweet boy, even when I would rather sleep.

~in my new "mommy body." I created life and I'm healthy and my husband still fancies me.

~ in cleaning and taking better care of the possessions that I do have so that I can enjoy them fully and realize that there is truly not a thing I am in need of.

~in treasuring my wonderful family, and precious friends.

~ in the gift of employment and the ability I have, to work in spite of chronic pain.

I have not been writing down my gifts over the past week, and wow, what a difference.

There is so much to be joyful about! Even the sadness and sorrow I experience in this life provides a chance to drink from the well of God's goodness and grace.

I am ashamed and I am renewed.

I am going to commit to go on a hunt this week for God's goodness in my life. For starters...

#1 Lucy Wren

#2 Tulips blooming on my table from the kindest, most thoughtful of friends

#3 A giggling baby in striped pajamas

...

Ephesians 4:29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV)

Isaiah 55:12 - "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." (NIV)

Mellow Yellow

2011-03-21T15:16:00.000-07:00

I'm a yellow girl. I just love the bright burst of cheerfulness in a tall glass of lemonade or in a fragrant bunch of daffodils. And I love to wear yellow. It provides an unexpected pop of confidence in any outfit.

Check out these delightful little numbers that I scored recently from Macy's. I originally bought the far right dress to wear when I was pregnant last summer, but it was a bit too short with Gage in tow, so I ended up returning it. I was browsing Macy's last week, and she and I were reunited once again, only it was clear I couldn't leave the store without adopting all of her orphaned friends as well.

Lucky for me, they were severely marked down on clearance, and I used a $50.00 gift card for all of them!

I've also been a busy little bee working on Gage's baby quilt. I am using the scraps from his bedding, all from Joel Dewberry's Modern Meadows line. So far....

Now, if you'll excuse me, all this blogging has made me rather sleepy. I'm going to retire to my cheerful yellow bedroom for a little nap...

A girl can dream, right?

2011-03-21T12:16:00.001-07:00

Totally crushing over this photo site. The presentation is super charming.

2011-03-16T11:42:00.000-07:00

For those of us that like to drown our beans in delicious cream, and wouldn't mind a $100 in cold hard plastic...

http://megduerksen.typepad.com/whatevergiveaways/2011/03/la-creme.html

2011-03-12T18:57:00.000-08:00

{Source}

I have come down with a horrid case of the flu. I can't remember the last time I had a flu like this.
I've been in bed mostly for the past two days. And while this flu is horrible, I am appreciating the slowing down of things. A chance to rest without feeling guilty, to hear the soft pour of boiling water into my favorite tea cup, to read a good book. That is all with the help of dayquil-- of course.

And although I have been in my pajamas for the past few days, I am in great company.

I'm having the hardest time not covering my Gage in his usual amount of kisses.
It's so hard not to pull him close for a snuggle. I just cannot seem to warm up today. These chilly days that start out sunny are more of a tease than anything. I'm looking forward to the warm sunshine, where the days aren't over before they begin.... Filling our pots with bright annuals that welcome us home each day... Tilling the soil of that long anticipated garden we've been planning... Trying once more to grow grass in our miserably barren back yard...

Brandon just got called into work for the evening, so it looks it's going to be a rather lonely, chilly evening. I'll just have to snuggle up with two more than willing dogs and that good book I've been thinking about, and await the return of my sweet, hard working husband.

{Source}

Happy Day

2011-03-11T23:52:00.000-08:00

I have the most amazing group of girlfriends. I seriously have to pinch myself. Each and every one of them is talented beyond belief.

We get together every week and share food, share our hearts, and just live life together. I don't know what I would do without these sweet girls.

One of the things we love to do together is throw a good party. We are always looking for excuses to throw a party, and I think we've got it down to a science.We especially enjoy celebrating each others milestones.

Celebrating our dear friend Chelle's baby to be was no exception. We are giddy with anticipation over meeting Lucy Wren. We had so much fun scheming and throwing a baby shower that {I hope} captured Chelle's beautiful personality and taste. Prepare yourself, these photos taken by my favorite photographer, Andi are totally drool-worthy.

An adorable Onsie creation station

Amazing cookies made by Becca

"Lucy's Cakes" made by Courtney

Sweet miniature pies made by Andi

Her reaction was so perfect!

It was so special to finally meet baby Ella!

Is she not the sweetest little doll you've ever seen?

Oh, do we ever love our Chelle... And as for Lucy, it's certainly been {Love} at first thought.

*Other parties thrown by my creative beyond words friends...
My lovely shower}
Becca/Luna's shower Part 1}
Becca/Luna's shower Part 2}

Lately

2011-02-24T13:07:00.000-08:00

1. Fat Flush Diet staple: Lemon water upon waking
2. Not amused
3. Breakfast
4. Springtime Wreath
5. Happy, happy boy
6. Photo Wall
7. Flowers from sweet Becca
8. Dusting of snow on our patio
9. Doggy slippers for chilly feet
10. Portion control: my dinner vs. Brandon's
11. In my sewing basket
12. Vegetable Bounty

Fiesta Chicken Salad with Lime Cilantro Vinaigrette

2011-02-20T15:44:00.000-08:00

One of our favorites... Especially for Chelle

1/2 cup Green Onion~Chopped
1 Tbsp. Minced Garlic
1/4 cup Lime Juice
1/4 cup Fresh Cilantro~Chopped
1/2 cup Vegetable oil
2 cups Red Leaf Lettuce~Thinly Sliced
3 cups Napa Cabbage~Thinly Sliced
1 cup Cooked Chicken Breast~Diced
2 Plum Tomatoes~Seeded and Chopped
1/2 Red Bell Pepper~Diced
1/2 Yellow Pepper~Diced
1 Avocado~Peeled and Diced
1/4 Cup Frozen Corn Kernels~ Thawed
1/2 Cup Tortilla Chips~ Crumbled
1/4 Cup Red Onion~ Thinly Sliced
1/2 Cup Feta Cheese~ Crumbled

For Vinaigrette: Combine Green Onion, Lime Juice, Cilantro, and Garlic. Gradually whisk in Oil. Season with Salt and Pepper. Cover and Chill.

For Salad: Combine all other Ingredients except for the Feta, in a large bowl. Toss with Vinaigrette to coat, and top with cheese.

2011-02-18T16:42:00.000-08:00

Our Valentines Day was not what I had imagined it would be. It was the day before payday, and we were literally broke. We did not eat a fancy dinner, there were no flowers or chocolates. We just had a quiet night at home with our favorite little Valentine. I'm not quite sure what I was thinking planning our wedding only 4 days before Valentines day. Did I think I would be completely spoiled all week? Either way, I am happy to say that being together in our little mint green house with our darling baby + sweet little pets was just enough. It may not have been romantic, but it was full of love. Hearts bursting full of love.

How in the world do I have a five month old?

2011-02-16T12:23:00.000-08:00

Gage is at such a fun age now!
Every morning I am awakened by singing and chattering on the monitor, I can't help but smile even before I open my eyes.

New things our little Gage is doing:

{Singing, with a super high "pretty" voice
{Holding his own bottle
{Saying "Yeah" (Not sure if that counts as a first word, but it sure is sweet!)
{Eating Oatmeal and loving it!
{If I say "Please don't eat me!" he growls and buries his face into me like he's a hungry monster
{Giggles when tickled, especially ticklish on his thighs!
{Chattering like he is telling a story complete with different voices
{Twirling on his toes in his johnny jump-up

Oh he is a little charmer. He charms everyone he meets!

2011-02-16T12:11:00.000-08:00

This month my girls group picked the book "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp to read. I

am so enamored already! Ann has such an artistic writing style that cuts deep into your heart.

One of my favorite quotes from this book is when she describes how

God "Kissed us into being."

What an amazing description, it totally gave me shivers. I can't wait to keep reading.

Rarely do I watch American Idol...

2011-02-16T11:47:00.000-08:00

But I happened to catch a glimpse of an audition by a singer named Emily Anne Reed.

I fell immediately in love with her voice and can't wait to hear more!

See for yourself!

2011-02-15T12:06:00.000-08:00

I have been burning my fingers all week since my cute little potholder found its way into the dogs bed. Dishtowels just don't seem to cut it, and yes, I know I should have more than one potholder. In fact, I think I should have at least ten. Check out these adorables featured here

I think it's high time I got to work on some new accessories for my kitchen. And since the sewing machine will be on the dining room table anyways, I might as well get started on one of these..

And while I'm at it, I might as well whip out a few of these

You know, with all the extra time I have on my hands. Hmm...

Maybe a craft night is in order?

2011-02-11T15:11:00.000-08:00

Oh baby Gage.

You are purely delicious. 

From the top of your fuzzy head

To the tips of your tangly toes

Is there anyone you can't charm with that contagious smile?

You could not be any more dear, and we love you so!

2011-01-19T15:02:00.000-08:00

Remember when Brandon took a sledgehammer to our linen closet?

We're not there yet, but we are slowly (very slowly) adding in a bathroom

The tile is up, although this doesn't do it justice

The built-ins are ready to be, well.. built in!

The walls are ready for beadboard and paint


I've even picked out the towels!

My favorite part is the new bathtub that allows me to take nightly bubble baths! I would never have had one if it weren't for my clever friend Andi suggesting to Brandon that it's really hard to bathe toddlers in a shower stall! Thanks Andi! It's the gift that keeps on giving!

Still to do: Prime and paint walls and beadboard, tile vanity and tile the floor. We're getting close!

2011-01-04T12:03:00.001-08:00

{2011}
There was a time not so long ago when the year "2011" would have conjured up very futuristic visions of people dressed in silver jumpsuits and riding around on hover boards,for me. But 2011 is now present day, and I am determined to make this year the best ever.

List-making is a passion of mine. I have been making several lists... lists and lists of goals and ideas. Things I hope to accomplish this year, changes to make, things to get done.

{Personal Goals}

Start a personal bible study
Lose remaining baby weight + a few extra lbs
Eat Healthfully. Green smoothies every day!
Spend more time getting ready in the morning
Do something active every day
Convert my make-shift coat rack back into a treadmill
Be a better listener to my husband
Take a canning class
Meal Plan + stock freezer and pantry
Mend Clothing/Quit buying cheaply made or too trendy items
Sew, Sew, Sew!
Be more creative
Send letters/care packages to loved ones
Delight in the little things
Strive for progress not perfection
Do more, promise less

{Home Goals}

Finish our remodel(!)
Reduce clutter/Eliminate anything that isn't loved or useful
Organize all spaces
Re-decorate rooms that don't fit our style
Stop buying/accepting cheapies and freebies that we don't love or treasure
Keep my environment clean + fresh

{Marriage Goals/Mama Goals}

Be my husband's girlfriend
Regular Date nights
Discover and pursue a new common interest
Find creative ways to communicate more effectively
Work together as a team more often
Take more pictures of Gagey
Start his Baby book

{Word for 2011}

ENJOY

1. To receive pleasure or satisfaction from.

2. To have the use or benefit from

{Color for 2011}

GREEN
I'm so crushing on green this year. I want to use it in my home, I want to see it in my garden, and want to wear it in my wardrobe.

{Quotes for 2011}

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” -Robert Brault

"There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God,"

Ecclesiastes 2:24

My House is a Disaster..

2010-12-05T16:43:00.000-08:00

And this is why. If Brandon had his way, they would be allowed to nap all day every on a hide-a-bed in the middle of the living room?! I put my foot down during the week, but on the weekend...
I guess I could always clean around them.

If I could just get my house under control, then I could think about decorating for Christmas, and that dear Christmas tree that is out there waiting for a home. Uh-oh... visions of broken glass and trampled Christmas lights and two naughty dogs... If they weren't so cute, I would so not be a dog person.

Oh My Dear Dusty Blog

2010-12-04T13:04:00.000-08:00

I don't know where to begin.
So much has happened since we've last spoken.
In some ways I feel like a different person.
In many ways I am.

Becoming a mother stretches your heart in ways you've never dreamed.
It also stretches your mind + muscles, and forces you to develop the ability to do many things at once with so little sleep it's comical.

I have definitely entered a new chapter in my life. One where I can spend countless hours gazing at and flirting with my darling boy. One where I cherish the advice from the mothers in my life and thank the Lord for bouncy seats and wonder how mothers ever got along without Google?

There are so many things I am grateful for right now. I'm grateful for the extended family we have given our sweet boy. He is so loved, and has such an amazing safety net of people that will support him through life.

I am grateful for Brandon, who has stepped up so much and become such a wonderful father and partner. He is always eager to take the baby when I need a break, and I love to hear his interactions through the baby monitor!

I am so thankful for my sweet baby, who coos and smiles and chatters incessantly. I was so afraid of the newborn stage ending too quickly. It was a really special time, but it truly keeps getting better!

I am thankful that my dear brother has fallen in love, and has quit drinking all on his own in order to better himself for the woman he loves. I can't recall ever seeing him this determined. It is an answer to my familys' many fervent prayers.

I am thankful for our little home. We are moving at a snail's pace to finish the addition of our second bathroom, but we are getting there. I finally have a bathtub!

I am also thankful that we decided to use Gage's nursery. He has the most restful sleep in there, and now sleeps 8 hours at night!!

I'm grateful for my beautiful friends that "live life" with me. I know that someday our own lives will be so full that it won't be possible to spend the kind of time together that we do now, so I am really cherishing it.

I am so excited for gift-giving this year. We are completely broke, as usual. I will have to be very creative. I can't wait to spend a day or two in the kitchen this month baking presents.

I am most thankful that I serve such a mighty and good God.
A God that is constantly in pursuit of the hearts of his people.

I hope your hearts are full of love and free from worry this season. There is so much to be thankful for!

The Gift of and Ordinary Day

2010-09-12T13:53:00.000-07:00

We've made it through the night, through a series of feedings and ~~sprays in the face~~ diaper changes, burpings, pacifier hunts in the dark, and now the sun is finally up.

It's crazy to think that just one week ago, this all began when our beautiful baby boy arrived on the scene.

We feel overwhelmed to say the least, overwhelmed by the new sleep schedule-- or lack of sleep schedule. The thousands of diaper changes, the new motivation to keep the house pristinely clean. It's a lot, I won't deny it.

As I struggle to type this with a sleeping baby rested in the nook of my arm, I am overwhelmed by the emotion of it all. The realization that these moments are slipping away already, that he won't be my newborn baby for very long at all.

The joy that comes every morning like a "fountain in my soul" because I know exactly how they day will go: feedings and lullabies, lavender johnson and johnson shampoo, kisses and cuddles, tickling tiny toes, caressing soft cheeks. Jumping up in excitement at the sound of Brandon coming through the door.

Having to hand over my baby, but swelling inside with happiness while I watch my husband smile from ear to ear as he takes the peanut from me, and says "go get some sleep, mama!"
I've stopped looking at calendars and planning for days in the future to be excited about. For the very first time in all of my life, I am content to focus on the present. Content to just be.

I feel as if I was born with this purpose inside me, this longing that I carried all through adolescence, not understanding how to fill the hole inside me, not understanding what it was.

And with the birth of our son, I feel a new fulfillment. A deep gratitude that we have been given this gift, that we have been trusted by God to raise a son. That I and only I, am his Mother. That he depends on me for sustanence, for comfort, for life.

Every day I fall into a deeper love with this tiny boy. I can't count the tears that fall from my eyes as we spend a perfectly ordinary day at home. Tears that fall because of love finally realized.

This swaddled bundle I hold is truly my heart. This is my son.

2010-09-05T11:31:00.000-07:00

Gage Rowan Parker

Born September 02, 2010

3:45 AM

7lbs 10oz 22 inches long

He stole our hearts from the moment he entered this world

And has been turning them into mush ever since...

It's a brand new day...

2010-08-16T15:11:00.000-07:00

Oh how I've missed you. I had to take a hiatus from blogging because I just didn't have it in me.

To be honest, I have been in quite the little funk lately.
We had two miserable trips to the hospital in one week
One to stop my labor, and one to find out that my labor pains are prodrominal, and could
last for weeks.

I've been on an emotional roller coaster

But this past weekend was absolutely amazing in every way. And after such a delightful weekend, I am *almost* good as new.

My family made the long drive from Seattle for my baby shower. It was a perfect diversion.

We had a really special, really memorable maternity photo shoot with the talented Andi Mae, and even though we had to cut it short because I wasn't feeling well, it was incredibly special and so fun to see Andi in her element!

Sunday was a beautiful sunshine filled day, and we arrived at Chelle's house for my much anticipated shower.
It was such a blessing to see the turn out! All of the dearest women in my life under one roof!

I really wish I had photos. It's just too hard to describe how special it was. I barely made it through the front door before being brought to tears...

Strung across Chelle's mantel was a banner of the photographs from the day before. A beautiful framed photo captured the day. It was too special for words. Truly.

The dining room was decorated with Gage's nursery colors everywhere. So much attention paid to the littlest of details.

A gorgeous (and I mean gorgeous beyond belief) dessert buffet that consisted of:

Mason jars filled with delicious chocolate mousse
The tiniest and prettiest pies you have ever seen!
Mini red velvet cupcakes (my absolute favorate!)
Pretty melt-in-your-mouth merengues
Pitchers of lemonade
Farm Chicks Iced coffee
And a candy bar complete with swedish fish + chocolate covered gummis + cinnamon bears,
and even mini pickles!

It was beyond my wildest dreams. I could tell all the guests were blown away as well.

All of the games were thoughtful and unique

Andi ran a photo booth so I could capture memories with each guest

There was lots of hearty laughter + heartfelt gifts

I'm still pinching myself.

I think my favorite part (and oh how hard it is to choose!) was seeing the talents and
personalities of each dear hostess coming through.

Courtney's decorative touches and magazine worthy displays

Andi's beautiful photography that took my breath away

Chelle's handmade creations and thoughtful ideas, for instance having the guests write in their favorite
children's book instead of a card. So clever!

All of their collaborative baking skills!

It was a labor of love, and do I ever feel loved!

So today, even though I hardly slept, and my body is fighting me to stay in bed,
I am all a glow from head to toe over the most thoughful and dear friends, that
I couldn't have dreamed up had I tried.

2010-07-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

I've been dreaming of some patchwork-cafe curtains to replace the horrid blinds in my kitchen window.
I'm picturing something with red, yellow or blue. Dots and florals, maybe some ric-rac, and a ruffle or two.

(Please excuse the dirty dishes, it's my day off!)

I've been slowly adding pops or red around this primarily blue and yellow kitchen. I just love the cheerful

feeling a little bit of red inspires!

I can't wait to get started. Too bad I first have to decide between all these fun fabrics and then wait for the post man. I'm not very patient when it comes to home decor!

Birthday

2010-07-01T10:23:00.000-07:00

It's almost my birthday... almost-- as in 18 days or so.

I love birthdays. I love sharing my birthdays with dearly loved ones.

And I love an excuse to throw a good party.

I would invite you all over for a Summer Soiree, and I'm quite sure you all would come.

I would decorate our backyard charmingly, with galvanized tubs and barnwood crates. With cans and jars filled with fragrant blossoms.

And there'd be Birthday Cake. Pretty and tasty both inside and out

And lot's of sweets... I live for sweets

Wouldn't it be Lovely?

*All of these delicious images are from this talented lady*

I Never Thought I Would Live to See the Day...

2010-06-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

After months of toil and sweat and boring Saturday mornings spent picking rocks out of the dirt...

We finally have grass!!

{Notice the sweet steps Brandon made to my soon-to-be garden}

It's not the most luscious lawn I've seen, but it's a start! I'm already noticing less dust on the patio and in the house. Hooray for sunshine!

2010-06-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

This morning was a sad one. Waking up and not hearing Axel and Beren's "Happy Feet" filled me with

immediate sadness. I was incredibly spoiled over the weekend when my Brother, his wife and three kids, my sister and her son, and my parents all came to visit and filled our home with chatter and laughter.

The weather was perfect. Sunny and hot. We experienced all Hoopfest had to offer and watched my incredibly talented niece play basketball. She is a few feet shorter than everyone else, but wow, is she ever fierce! I admire her spunk so much. In spite of being "Tiny," as she is called, she doesn't let it stop her.

I don't often get to spend time with my brother and his darling family. It was so special to get in some bonding time with his three-year-old son Beren. My goodness has that little one melted my heart. His smile is so tender and sweet, and he is such a gentle little guy.

It was so fun to have my sister Maggie here, makes me sad that I don't get to have her around all the time. We are so close, and our pregnancies have made us even closer. I couldn't get enough of Axel! He is getting so big and is so talkative and smart!

Brandon was the best man in his cousin's wedding this weekend, and it was such a sweet wedding. His aunt managed to snap a few photos, I'm so uncomfortable with all this baby weight I've put on, but it's going to be worth it in the end!

It seemed like Brandon really enjoyed showing off my belly to all of his family. We had so much fun dancing with all the cousins and catching up with everyone. He gave a beautiful speech, totally from the heart and not rehearsed at all. I just watched him thinking how I've never been more in love with him or more attracted to him than I am now. He's such a wonderful husband, and my heart swells to a new size every day.

Today I'm really missing my family, but smiling as I look around the house at the thoughful things they left for me. While I was at the wedding my sister and mom bought me beautiful flowers and scoured my kitchen splarkling clean. They also bought me all kinds of cleaning products. I so needed the extra help as this old house is overwhelming me with its propensity to get so filthy.

This weekend is the 4th of July, and we always spend it at Aunt Candy's lake house. I'm hoping to spend at least part of the weekend getting our garden boxes going. I'll be sure to share pictures!

2010-06-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

We had a mostly lovely father's day,

A much desired jaunt to church, lunch out at our favorite Mexican restaurant,

An olympic sized nap,

a call from a friend who had two extra tickets to an outdoor concert and invited us along.

I was determined to go because that was the type of thing we would have loved to
do together back in our pre-pregnacy days, and I'm trying to still be that spontaneous

girl that Brandon fell in love with

The concert was let's just say, NOT my cup of tea.
It was a horribly loud reggae/punk band
where we huddled together under drizzles of rain and tried to stay warm
amidst a sea of teens painted in green with the words "Legalize it 2010"

I literally held a scarf over my face the entire time so as not to inhale any drifting smoke

Somehow I managed to make it through to the end.. Only because this friend later disclosed

that he needed $40.00 for the tickets, and Brandon was determined to get his monies worth...

It was very interesting to say the least. I realized that I never EVER want this baby

to become a teenager. Yikes.

Today is yet another rainy day, depressing mostly because two weekends ago we planted grass, and oh was it laborous! Every day we rush home from work to peek at any signs of life. But with all this rain, things aren't looking very good.

I am in the process of spring cleaning, which means the house is half spotless, half disaster area. I have this crazy problem where if I'm going to take the time to clean, I'm going to do it right, meaning I have to deep clean and organize everything at the same time. Everything I own must come out of the woodwork, so the house gets so much worse before it gets better.

Hopefully it gets better before friday. I have ten members of my family coming for a visit since my nieces are playing at Hoopfest this weekend. I'm so, so excited! Brandon is also going to be the best man in his cousin's wedding on Saturday.

I'm heading into my last trimester (Can you believe it?) I am less than comfortable, but happy nonetheless.
Here are a few things that are helping me get by:

OPI nail color in "Significant Other"

I'm not a purple person, in fact I'm not usually a nailcolor person, but when I'm

feeling less than attractive, this opalescent color is sophisiticated and subtle enough

to do the trick.

Oh, and gaucho pants. Yes, I know they are so three years ago, but with my ever changing waistline they are so comfy and convenient. And they go with everything.

Wow, June has been such a busy month! and if this month is indicitive at all, the rest of the summer is sure to fly by, and Gage will be here before we know it!

2010-06-16T15:34:00.000-07:00

Just when I think I've got it under control.

Just when I think things couldn't be better.

I'm reminded how little I can do on my own.

I'm overwhelmed.

I'm exhausted.

The "perfect" cirumstances can turn imperfect in a matter of seconds.

While we are preparing for the addition of our new little one, we are greatful for

the full lives we lead.

Wonderful lives, full of treasured relationships, hard work and

simple pleasures.

Just like a bountiful garden, I am aware of how

much is involved in maintaining a full life.

Friendships and family relationships must be nurtured,

a home must be tended, a marriage must be replenished,

A career requires attention and focus.

I've been running on empty lately, and I need my cup filled.

While I've been running around keeping everything in my life watered, fed and weeded,

I have been neglecting the source that supplies my needs.

It's been such a blessing to have had family here almost every weekend, filling our home with laughter and memories. But I have been missing out on church, worship, and scripture.

I have been depending on my own strength to propel me through everything that life throws at me.

Let me tell ya, it just doesn't work.

As soon as I think I'm handling things, a confrontation at work occurs, and tears my walls down.

Exposing all of my weaknesses and insecurities for the world to see.

I am strong in many ways, but my heart is sensitive. I can really fall to pieces.

The hormones don't help either.

When I want so badly to hold onto my blind hand, I have to remember who it is that can

see all the cards.

Right now I feel a bit like crying. I have a lot on my plate right now, and it would be easy to crumble.

But then I look around me and realize how much I have to be grateful for.

I am thankful for this amazing life I am carrying inside me.

This darling boy growing every day just as my love for him grows.

I am thankful for a spouse that supports me in all that I do.

That gives the best hugs, encouragement, and the bigger bowl of popcorn.

I am thankful for my family, that always feels close even when they are far away.

I am thankful for wonderful friends.

Friends that give more than they take. Friends that leave me feeling refreshed and replenished.

Friends that represent Christ to me in so many ways.

I am thankful for a father that isn't finished with me yet.

That won't leave me the way I am.

That will heal my hurts, as silly as they may be.

I am thankful that life goes on. It may be crazy, but I wouldn't miss the ride for anything.

2010-05-27T12:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had an ultrasound because of a puzzling and terrible pain that I have had for over a week now. My fears were relieved when we were able to catch a glimpse of this amazing little boy that is growing strong and healthy inside me.

As the images of his face appeared on the ultrasound screen in real time, I was overcome. "I love you, so much!" was all I could think as we watched his dear little expressions on the screen. His button nose, his quivering lip, his little fisted hands reaching up to rub his eyes. This is becoming so much more real, and I am absolutely overwhelmed from head to toe with love for this tiny boy of mine.

Do you know how it feels to call him mine? I know for sure many of you do. It's just that I have dreamt of what it might feel like for so long, and now it's finally becoming a reality. It seems strange that just a few weeks ago I was wishing very much for a little girl. I can't fathom wanting anything else, now that I know him. He is so perfect to me already.

I go about my day now, imagining him sleeping in the back seat as I drive, sitting in his nursery chair dreaming of holding him in my arms, rocking him to sleep. Waking up several times in the middle of the night, which would normally drive me crazy, but now makes me smile because I know even my internal clock is adjusting in anticipation.

I am so, so hopelessy in love with this little one. My heart is fuller than full.

2010-05-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

So I started my job at the Top Stitch this weekend, and wow, is it ever lovely!
Basically my "work" day involves laughing so hard at Carrie's stories that my face hurts,
having darling Patti mother me to death, asking me every five seconds: "Are you okay? Can I get you water? Can I run to the bakery and get you a treat?" "Do you need to put your feet up?"
Being allowed to spend my day choosing fabrics and patterns to sew whatever I fancy for the store displays,
Talking to the sweetest of sweet customers about my sewing obsession. Brainstorming with crazy-talented co-workers. Dipping into the company chocolate fund. Abiding by a dress code that includes jeans, and adorable aprons. Learning everything I ever wanted to know about sewing.

I'm still pinching myself!

2010-05-04T15:49:00.000-07:00

"Thank God for Dirty Dishes,

They have a tale to tell.
While others are going hungry,
We're eating very well.
With home and health and happiness,
I shouldn't want to fuss.
For by this stack of evidence,
God's very good to us.”

~ author unknown ~

Isn't that a darling little quote?
It really speaks to me about learning to look at even the little nuisances in life as blessings.
Although my home is never spotless, it's been looking quite lovely lately. At this point in my pregnancy,
my energy is miniscule, and I'm praying every day that this "nesting" thing will kick in and feel a little less forced.

I've been trying little things like making sure I wear makeup and take the time for grooming on the weekends, instead of slumming around in my pajamas all day (which is very typical for me!). I've also been listening to music, lighting a sweet smelling candle, and putting on a cute apron to make housekeeping feel a little less chore-like.

All of these things really do help. Funny how when your home is in order it seems like everything else falls into place! I've been meal planning religiously so that my sweet hard-working husband always has something to look forward to after work. A nice meal seems to set the tone for our evenings. Instead of complaining about how much time he spends as the computer, I have been trying to use his schedule as a cue for my sewing time.

So far I've finished most of the crib bedding, with only the crib skirt to go. We've painted the nursery, and I have been sanding my little heart out, trying to prep the crib for paint (why did I chose a cribe with spindles?!?)

We've been taking more walks lately, and have been snuggling up to watch a movie every night.

We are falling more an more in love with this darling baby boy every day.
Yesterday was the first day Brandon could feel his kicks all the way through! I am so anxious to meet him!

I'm still always lacking in the sleep department, but our days are full and wonderful. I couldn't ask for more!

Wednesday, Wednesday

2010-04-21T16:37:00.000-07:00

Funny how you can be absolutely positively down in the dumps, and when you least expect it,
life takes a turn for the better, and suddenly you are on top of the world. Do I have some serious
emotional ADD or what?

Lately things have been better than good. I officially wind my schedule at the retirement home down to three days a week, and pick up two days at my favorite place in Spokane, the Top Stitch.
I can't stop thinking about how much fun this is going to be. Carrie even mentioned that once the baby is born I can put him in a pack and play in her office while I work!

By the end of summer I will phase out my job completely at the retirement home, which has been an emotinal decision. I really wrestled with this because on one hand, I feel like I am deserting the people I work with. On the other hand, I know they will be taken care of. I tend to feel like I am a bad person for not loving this job. But as a wise friend recently told me, I am just over it. And that's okay.

So even though my biggest dream is to be a stay at home mom all the time, for financial reasons, I need to generate an income at this time. And I really couldn't dream up a better part time job if I tried.

On the schedule for this evening is some sewing and some comfort food. I'm thinking chicken +stuffing + potatoes + and collard greens. And then a visious jog on the treadmiller to atone for such sins.

On the agenda for this weekend is painting the Nursery, Robin's Nest by Benjamin Moore. It's simply delicious.

I am craving some one on one time with Brandon, we've been too busy lately! I really hope working in the nursery will inspire some name suggestions on his part. I am absolutely frustrated! Every name I suggest (after reading three name books cover to cover) he "hates." I'm sure many of you have been in the same boat. I am holding out hope that the perfect name will magically roll of his tongue at some point, and we will both know it's "the one." Arghhh....

We are thinking a lot about art for the nursery, and I have always wanted to display the song "You are my Sunshine" since it's the song I remember my mother singing to me most. My favorite sign on Etsy would have to be this cheerful one, although it's much too girly. Don't you think?

Here is one I really love, although because it is $140.00 I would have to make it myself. It has a barnwood frame which would go with the other barnwood frames I'm planning to use for photos.

And here is yet another one. It doesn't have the full lyrics. Not my favorite, but it is gender neutral.

Just a few things I'm pondering. Wishing you a very wonderful Wednesday evening, dear ones!

2010-04-19T16:07:00.000-07:00

I have two things to be over the moon about.
Two unexpected blessings that I can't stop thinking about.
My Dad received his test results back a few days ago, test result that we
were very nervous about. He hasn't been responding to the chemo, and his last results
were the worst they have been in quite a while.
Then suddenly, after his last and more difficult series of chemo, his blood cell counts
are so low that they could almost be considered normal (!!!)

I was so prepared to hear more bad news, and I can't tell you enough how amazing this is.
Now the nature of the cancer is that he will get better, then worse and then better again,
and we've been on this roller coaster of emotions for six years now, so it would be easy
for me not to get my hopes up. But today I am filled with joy from my head to my toes!

So that is absolutely the most exciting thing that has happened lately, but there is also one more thing that has me feeling giddy.

Last Friday I stopped by the Top Stitch to pick up some fabric for the crib bumper I am working on, and got to talking with Carrie, the owner. She ended up offering me a job two days a week and I of course accepted! We still have to work out the details, but I am so excited. This will be a way for me to do something I love, stay home with the baby 5 out of 7 days a week, and I will also have access to training and maybe even discounts on the fabric? This way I can work very part time, and for the rest of the week I can sew to sell on Etsy. I can't wait to start.

So I now have answers to two very desperate prayers which makes me upset with myself for all the stressing and worrying I do. I hope I will remember how safe I am in God's gracious hands!

2010-04-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I haven't posted yet about the results of our ultrasound! Sorry to anyone who was left hanging! Our ultrasound was such a special experience. Seeing an acual baby, not a bean, not an alien was miraculous. Every little flinch or startled kick he did endeared me even more. Did you notice I said "He"?

Because our little one was curled into a very impressive ball, we almost couldn't determine the sex. I kept thinking how much the baby looked like a boy, for some reason.

The technician had me stand up and touch my toes and jump around and we tried for a second time. I was so disappointed, because the baby hadn't moved. Then, all of sudden there was a flash of something, and we were thrilled to discover that Brandon's hunch was right. We're having a sweet baby boy!

I was so convinced we were having a girl, and had planned everything in my head. Especially the crib set, and nursery colors. I've been thrown for a little loop, so I had to rethink my pallette. Last night I made a crib sheet out of this fabric from the new Joel Dewberry collection "Modern Meadows." I think it's charminng.

This weekend I will be working on the crib bumper....

And then I will use this fabric for the Crib skirt

I'm liking it a lot so far. And more importantly, Brandon likes it too. So what do you think?

2010-04-08T16:45:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to that darling boy of mine!

There are so many things I admire about Brandon, too many to list really.
Of course you know me, I'm going to try anyways...

He knows how to give compliments
He is loyal in every sense of the word
Is compassionate, and sees the good in others
Is fun to kiss
Is a good snuggler
Forces me to hug him and take deep breaths when I am stressed
He takes out the trash with a good attitude
He rubs my back
Always holds my hand
Lights up when he talks about his dreams
Loves the outdoors
Has a strong deep rooted faith in God
Loves children
Could live off of cookie dough ice cream , beer, and brewers yeast popcorn
Has a million talents and can do or learn to do anything
He is determined in whatever he does
Understands my quirks and still loves me

As a little girl, I used to pray for my future husband at night. Turns out he was listening!
We've been together since the tender age of sixteen. That's ten years!

This is the first picture ever taken of us as a couple. It was around our one month anniversary (yes, we celebrated anniversaries every month back then), and we were on a bus headed to a sports tournament. My friend Liz took this picture to show us how annoyingly goo-goo eyed we were over one another...

I remember doing a lot of dreaming together when we were sixteen. That summer Brandon accompanied my family on our annual trek to California, packed like sardines in the family van. Between stops at Denny's and bathroom breaks, we held hands and whispered our dreams to each other. We talked about the house we wanted to build someday, the dream of being missionaries in Africa, raising a big family and starting a business. It amazes me how little our dreams have changed.

Brandon's Senior Year

On Our Wedding Day

I'm absolutely giddy over the fact that through it all we managed to stay together. I can't imagine a more wonderful husband, and father-to-be. Happy birthday "baby-socks," you're so precious, I wouldn't want to live a day without you by my side!

Love, Bridey

2010-04-06T15:46:00.000-07:00

I think I've been hit by the pregnant moody blues today.

I appologize in advance for the following list. There are just

a few things getting me down lately that I need to address.

Things I'm fussing over:

My dad's cancer

Fickle weather, that makes my back ache

A mattress set that refuses to be sold, and is determined to make a home propped up against the dining room table

The fact that my house is a mess again after I cleaned every inch of it only two weeks ago.

We didn't get our loan approved--again.

We are broke, and there are bills to pay.

I found the perfect changing table/hutch on CL, but Brandon had to cover someones shift last night, and now it's gone.

Now that I've had a chance to vent, I am taking a deep breath. And I am switching gears.

Blessings/Things to be Excited About:

Tomorrow is my darling boy's birthday

I just scheduled a massage for this week

Friday we find out if I'm having a bean or beanette (!)

I get to spend a whole weekend taking care of my Dad very soon

I have a nursery to plan

Before we realized we were broke, DH let me buy these pretties:

Gardening season is just around the corner

New vacuum and a sale on Meyer's cleaning products= equals a wonderful excuse to get my house back into shape

I spent Easter with this dear to my heart neighbor + friend

Sweet husband accompanied me to church and held my hand the whole time

Jesus is alive (!)

Sometimes I just need a reality check. Especially with the extra hormones I'm dealing with. Tonight I will be cheerful, I will make breakfast for dinner, and I will cuddle up with my sweetie and watch a comedy. And things will get better. Thank you, sweet friends, for listening.

2010-03-30T12:23:00.001-07:00

This darling bride to be has put weddings on my mind. If I were to do it all over again, I would most certainly use yellow and minty green. De-licious.

Dining Room Details

2010-03-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness, for those of you that managed to wait nine months to find out the sex of your baby, I applaud you. We have our ultrasound a week from Thursday, and it is driving me bananas! So even though for the past several months I have gone to sleep with nursery ideas swimming in a current through my head, I will take a deep breath, put them on hold, and focus on something else for a moment.

That being our sad and lackluster dining room (if you can call it that). When I we first moved in, I couldn't handle the lack of privacy with all the large windows and immediately went out to purchase the cheapest window coverings I could, always knowing that someday I would change them to something that suits are taste more appropriately.

While someday still isn't today, I will at least share with you some of my ideas. The dining room is an awkward space that shoots off of the living room. It has three large bay windows and an odd but still workable place for a dining table, and a bit of wall space for a dish cupboard or buffet table. Right now I have bulky cream curtains that don't let in a lot of light and don't do much to make the space inviting. So I am dreaming of sewing some cute cafe curtains, much like these.

My biggest inspiration for the curtains is a patchwork apron from Anthropologie that has an adorable amount of ric-rac. Here is the apron and the fabrics I'm thinking of using. They are all by Heather Bailey. I've also had my eye on this table cloth from Anthropologie, for a year now. To my surprise, they still have it in stock. I imagine my luck will run out soon if I don't snatch it up.

Whew, that wasn't so bad. Although I do have to admit that half way through posting this I was thinking about how sweet the fresh green would look in a little boys nursery...

2010-03-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

The other night when we were smooching, he said "I hope you understand how beautiful you look. The more your body changes, the more beautiful you become to me!" and I thought, so this is love.

2010-03-18T21:49:00.000-07:00

It's Thursday evening and my week is just getting started. Sunday evening I came down with either a horrible stomacch virus or a serious case of food poisoning. Either way, I have not been myself for four days. I am just now becoming hydrated again and feel like I have missed an entire week. The house is a mess, I haven't been able to cook, and I've got some serious catching up to do. Even though I mostly had the drapes closed for this entire week, I couldn't help but notice the graces of spring all around.

Now that I am starting to feel better, I have an urgency to get a jump on my spring cleaning. Since we have baby coming soon and the budget is stretched thin, I will have to put my decorating ideas on hold and focus on organizing and tidying to make our home feel cozy and new. I will try to tackle at least one job a day, and will try not to bore you with too much. Tomorrow I will clean and organize the bathroom. I figure I might as well start with the worst! Wish me luck.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

2010-03-11T14:32:00.000-08:00

It was our first day waking up in our own beds since we left for vacation.
We had a wonderful vacation, but I was ready to come home.
The last weekend of our trip I was secretly sulking inside while thinking of
how much I was missing my sweet girlfriends that were all at the blog
meet-up. 12 lovely ladies that were able to leave their families and jobs to spend a
weekend together in a beautiful vacation house on the beach.
I knew they were staying up late, roasting smores in their pajamas and
bearing their hearts. I was so sad to have missed out.

Luckily Courtney had five of us over last night for a delicious dinner.
MMMmmm... Can't stop thinking about those enchiladas!!
I was able to spend a little time with Fairlight and KT, who are both lovelier than I could explain. I was so excited to catch up with Courtney,
Andrea and Chelle, my it felt good to be home.

I have been so blessed with such wonderful friends, I can't believe how much
I adore my life. I love living in Spokane, I just couldn't be happier.

This morning I woke up early and had my worship, which was really special. I'm working through a book called The Power of a Praying Wife, and have commited (somewhat begrudgingly) to wake up two hours earlier to pray in the morning for the next thirty days. I have never had a consistent prayer life, only talking to God thoughout my day casually. I am really making an effort to let God do his will in our marriage and in my life. It's a great book. I absolutely reccomend it.

Speaking of good books, I also recommend the Apothacary's Wife, a novel by Julie Klassen. A really fun Jane Austen-style quick read. I ate up her books while I was in Hawaii, and am currently reading the Silent Governess. So good!

I have reserved tonight for catching up on Laundry, Lost episodes, and Sewing. Just what I've been craving. Well, except for the laundry...

2010-03-06T15:34:00.000-08:00

The name game is really tough!
I still haven't heard Brandon say that he loves my pick for a girl
Soleil Rose (pronounced So-lay),
But he hasn't said no to it. I'm hoping it will grow on him?

We finally have a contender for a boys name...
So far we like Ronan.
Not sure yet about a middle name, but Ronan is an old Irish name
that means "little seal."
Pretty cute if you ask me!

2010-03-06T14:50:00.000-08:00

Here is just a small taste of the beautiful sunrises I have been spoiled with in Hawaii. Our time here is winding down quickly, and soon we will have to return to the daily grind. Usually about this time during a vacation, I am feeling depressed and sad to be going home.

This time I feel such a strong sense of renewal that I am excited to pick up life where we left off.

Also, I can't tell you how much better I feel after eating the way my inlaws do for two weeks. I feel vibrant, and refreshed, and so good about what I've been feeding the baby. They eat fresh fruits and vegetables, and mostly raw foods. While I am not interested in jumping on that bandwagon, I know I need to make more of an effort to plan and cook the healthiest of meals.

When I get home, I can't wait to make some time for sewing. My head is just spinning with ideas. I can't wait to start some new projects and finish some old ones.

It probably won't be until after I get home that I round up all the pictures and post about our time actually in Hawaii, but for now, I just wanted to touch on a few things that have been on my heart.

You'll be in my thoughts all you lovelies!

2010-03-06T14:22:00.000-08:00

{Spring Things}

Build garden boxes
Plant a vegetable garden
Landscape yard
Bake fresh pies and cool them on the windowsill
Sew, sew, sew
Spring clean
Make time for Jesus
Make time for sweet friends
Seed for grass
Walk dogs every day
Drink fragrant fruit teas
Make strawberry crepes for breakfast
Ride my beloved bike
Lay out in the sunshine
Plan a picinic
Go on hikes
Pick wildflowers
Kiss handsome husband and look up at the stars
Make big plans for Summer

2010-02-23T12:52:00.001-08:00

2010-02-23T12:52:00.000-08:00

This is the swimsuit I purchased for Hawaii. Charming, no? I just wish I looked half as good as she does in it!

2010-02-19T20:08:00.000-08:00

Words escape me when it comes to describing the feelings I'm experiencing during this pregnancy. At long last, its finally happening. For as long as I can remember I have felt put on this earth to be a mother. And though I'm happier than ever in my marriage, I couldn't help but feel that something, or someone was missing. A presence that no dog or cat or nephew or niece can fill. And to know that every day magical things are happening in this belly of mine is a secret that keeps a smile on my face and a song in my heart. Precious baby, I hope I don't overwhelm you with this love I have for you, as it's overwhelming me more and more each day. It brings me to tears as I am reminded and impressed with the incomprehensible love that God has for his children. How special that we get to experience a glimpse of that in this life!

Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

I can't help but marvel at the fact that this baby is being formed in my very womb. It's such a miracle to me!

2010-02-19T19:22:00.000-08:00

Life is sure delicious.
I have been eating up every last bite lately.
I feel more content than ever. Someone asked me the other day what makes me feel successful. I can truly say my marriage. Not because its perfect, by any means, but because we have learned to put in as much effort as we can, and have learned to rely on God to fill in the gaps. Our first year was so hard, and now after celebrating our third anniversary, its like a different marriage completely. I have learned how to vocalize my feelings without beating around the bush (and manipulating) and he has learned how to speak affirmations rather than keeping them silent. We hold hands constantly, we kiss like nervous teenagers channeling those first few years when we were just that. We've kept the house clean for a solid week (!), and I can't think of the last time we argued. My constant prayer during my showers, at work, and while I'm lying awake in the early morning hours, is that Jesus will work inside my heart and continue to bring forth fruit in my life so that I can bless Brandon with my words and actions. It's crazy to me how far we have come, and how much we have been blessed. I am so utterly in love with this man. I feel so lucky to hold the memories in my heart of him as a young boy, and to know him now as the wonderful man he has become. I am blessed beyond words to call him mine.
Another beautifully simple day.

2010-02-15T12:23:00.000-08:00

This baby is coming in seven months whether we like it or not.

(Trust me, we more than like it) It's starting to hit me that we have a

zillion things to do and plan. I've been agonizing over the fact that I have got to

find some way to generate income while still staying home with the baby.

I became very excited when a sweet friend suggested that I turn

a hobby into a living, by sewing for a shop on etsy. It has always been a dream

of mine, but I suppose I never thought I could actually do it. Hearing

someone tell me I could do it made me think, "Why not?"

I compiled ideas and quickly discovered the strong competition that I would be

up against. Then that same equally clever and sweet friend suggested that

I tap into an area that is lacking on Etsy: boys clothing and accessories.

Goldmine!

I thought long and hard about what I could possibly make.

And then yesterday I noticed that Dana from the MADE blog is doing an entire

month on boy clothing tutorials. !!!

My favorite one shows you how to take a part used boys clothing to make your own patterns.

I am so excted to jump into this,

I will be researching fabrics and color palettes over the next few weeks.

I am so grateful for this blogging community that I have become immersed in. It has brought

wonderful true life friends, and so many lovely blogging friends that have comepletely inspired my life.

To think that I will be able to live my dream of being a stay at home mom because someone was caring enough to have faith in me, and because someone else was kind enough to share her knowledge. I can't wait update you on all this. Now if only I had a finished craft room to work in. One thing at a time...

2010-02-09T16:36:00.000-08:00

2010-02-09T11:00:00.000-08:00

Today is a good day.
I don't normally feel that way about Tuesdays, but today just has a lovely feel to it.
I'm so excited about this baby, and I'm also excited because my older sister just discovered she is pregnant (hush,hush!) and we have due dates a month apart! What could be more fun than sharing this with her?

At my last Dr.s appointment, I was so discouraged by the numbers on the scale that I almost
couldn't think of anything else. Selfish, I know. I came to the realization that if I don't change
how I am living, I will really suffer from the extra weight. Especially while my back is still healing.

I also had a horrible episode last week that resulted in a trip to the ER to receive fluids because I was so dehydrated. I'm forcing myself to drink more water, even though it means 10,000 trips to the bathroom.

I'm also eating much healthier, smaller balanced meals, with protein rich snacks in between. I feel so much lighter after cutting out most of the useless carbs I was living on. I think the biggest difference is that I have been exercising every day. Sweet husband has been taking me on strolls every other night, which has been doing wonders for our relationship (and for our dogs).

On the nights that we don't walk I have been doing an amazing prenatal workout video by Summer Sanders. If you ever need a good exercise video during pregnancy, this is it. It's so much fun, and I am never bored. It's also a very challenging workout that leaves me sore for the next two days. I set up a workout room where the nursery will soon be, and I think about the baby the whole time I am doing it. It's becoming a special part of my day.

Also, my assistant is back from Mexico, and I am so thankful. I rely on her for so much, and it's nice to have the pressure off of me.

Anyways, hoping you are all having a lovely Tuesday! Tomorrow is our third wedding anniversary and the day of our first ultrasound. Something tells me that Wednesday is going to be a great day as well!

2010-02-08T11:03:00.000-08:00

God is so good.
That seems to be my theme for this year so far. I just can't marvel enough
at what a wonderful God I serve. Last year was a very tough year for us, financially
and in regards to health. This year things seem to be getting better and better.

We just received some information about the car accident claim we have been waiting on
for a year. It turns out that with the settlement money, we will be able to wipe out our debt.
I just can't tell you what a relief this is. We are lucky to not have a large amount of debt, thankfully Brandon's grandparents paid for all his college, which has been such a blessing. When Brandon lived in England he used a credit card for all of his main expenses, and though we have paid a good part of it off, it has been looming over our heads for some time now. That and my accumulating medical bills.

I know we won't be debt free forever, we still don't have the house in our name and we do have a baby coming, but to be able to wipe the slate clean with our finances makes me giddy with joy.

I have really been convicted about how we spend our money. We are considering taking the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University classes in our area. We really want to be more intentional about our spending. In the meantime, I will be making these to both provide eye candy and to get me motivated about the cash system. You can find this great tutorial here.

I am beyond excited to feel in control, to budget, to meal plan and to save. With baby on the way, we have no choice but to change our ways. I'm just so very grateful for unexpected blessings.

2010-01-30T12:31:00.001-08:00

"It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about." -Dale Carnegie

2010-01-30T11:19:00.000-08:00

This is truly going to be the longest pregnancy ever! If things had gone as planned, I would just now be letting the world know. I didn't anticipate that the beans would be spilled on facebook, but the whole world has been aware since I was about 8 seconds pregnant! Oh well, I certainly can't blame excited Aunties to be! One thing I do know is that I will be savoring every day, no every minute of this.

I am certainly in no hurry, except when it comes to finding out if there is a baby girl or baby
boy in this tummy of mine. For sewing purposes, of course!

I am overwhelmed by excitement. It's so fun to share in the excitement with all of our family members too. I love to call my mother with any questions I have, and to draw from her well of experience. I love to hear the constant giggle in my mother-in-law's voice, or "Tu-tu" as she has decided to be called. I love to chat on the phone with my sisters about all welcome changes this little spirit will bring to our lives. I love to wake up and share a sleepy smile with my darling husband as we remember the special surprise coming our way.

It's hard to explain, but I think we are falling more and more in love every second. When he pats my unformed belly and smiles, I swell inside with gratefulness. I know without a doubt that he is going to be a wonderful father. I can't stop thinking about it. It brings such a new dimension to our relationship already.

Add then tack on to that gratefulness for the surprise addition of three especially lovely friends to share my joy with. God is so good. I literally prayed every day last year that God would bring a like-hearted Christian friend into my life. And how special that he brought me three! Three precious friends that inspire me and pray for me and bring sunshine into my life. What an answer to prayer, x 3!

I think of how our life will change after this precious baby is born. How I've longed to be a mother, to share all the little tidbits about life that I have learned, much from my own mother and father, grandparents and siblings. I have woven a collection of ideals and heartfelt truths and observations on God and life in general. I can't believe what an awesome responsibility it is to be in charge of shaping the life of a little one.

I think of the days I will spend singing to my baby, playing, teaching and learning. I can't think of a more fulfilling life. And every twinge of back pain, feeling of nausea and indigestion brings me closer to this miracle. So yes, I do intend to enjoy every minute of this pregnancy. All 345,600 of them.

2010-01-18T16:39:00.000-08:00

Now that I'm finally pregnant, I can start really dreaming about nursery decor. Did you know you can make your own rugs like this crafty lady? I'm really inspired today!

2010-01-17T10:00:00.000-08:00

Right now my craft room is in shambles

It used to be cute and organized with all my little notions

It used to host this loyal friend

And fun fabrics like these..

Oh yeah, did I show you what I made?? The nappy diaper bag for my sister Maggie...

And this cute dress for my niece Rainni (Possible future item for my Etsy shop?)

Instead of sewing in my happy place, I'm nursing a bad back from all that labor yesterday, and dreaming of a remodel that could finish itself!

2010-01-16T10:13:00.000-08:00

My cute little craft room is getting a facelift. And I am nervous and excited! We are going to refinish the walls and cieling, paint the floors and add a bathroom. It's right next to the nursery, so we really want it to be finished. I have to admit, demolision can be fun!

2010-01-16T09:10:00.000-08:00

Over the Holiday we pulled taffy using Gramma Mabel's famous Taffy recipe. She paid $100.00 for this recipe at a state fair and it has been a family treasure ever since. It's one of my very favorite traditions! So fun to make and fun to watch being pulled.

New Years 2010

2010-01-15T09:29:00.000-08:00

This year we celebrated New Year's in the best possible way. At the family Ranch! We had an amazing time.

Staying up late, playing games, watching as the boys filmed silly scenes for a movie, snuggling....

Eating Grammie's delicious food, and lot's of it...

Catching up on girl time...Taking tours of the beautiful Horse ranch...I wore pajamas the enitre time! It was bliss! And we ended of course with a pregnancy surprise!

2010-01-05T14:42:00.000-08:00

It was our last day at the ranch after an indescribably fun weekend.
The cars were packed, the house was clean, and we were waiting for the boys to return
from a shooting excursion.

As I packed the last of my belongings into the car, I spied a little pink box squished beneath the seat. One pregnancy test left from a multi-pack. Inspired mostly by boredom, I decided to give it a whirl. I'm the queen of pregnancy tests. I take them all the time. And I never, ever get the double lines I'm looking for.

I looked at the test after one minute, and saw that it was just one line. Oh well, just what I expected. But all of a sudden a very faint second line began to appear. I thought it was a mistake. I ran downstairs to find my sisters. "Is this to faint to count?"

"No." Maggie assured me. "You are definitely pregnant!"

That sentence put me into shock. This is something I have wished for, dreamed about for so long.

Moriah immediately started crying, and soon we were all three huddled in an embrace, sobbing.

My sisters had all suffered with me, when I was in pain, through my surgery and recovery, and now they were here to experience my joy.

I will never forget that moment.

Soon after, we devised a plan to reveal the news to Brandon. As soon as the boys were home, we called him into the kitchen. My 2-year-old nephew was told to give his uncle a "present."
He walked very slowly to "Uncle Bunny" as he calls him, and handed over the pregnancy test.

A huge smile erupted across his face, and he hugged me as tight as he could. Finally.

So even though I am only 5 weeks pregnant, I am already all aglow with excitement.
I can't wait to experience every part of this pregnancy.

I am so thankful for Jesus' perfect timing. I couldn't be happier.

2010-01-04T10:04:00.000-08:00

{Dear Brandon}
I love the life you live with me. Thank you for always keeping my secrets, supporting my dreams, forcing me to hug you even when I don't think I need a hug, and for being my soul's mate. Every year that we grow older, I watch in awe as you change and capture my admiration more and more. So different and yet still so the same as the little boy whose hand I first held. I can't wait finally be the mama and dada to a beautiful baby all our own.
I love this journey and all that I get to take with you,

Chany

2009-12-08T11:15:00.001-08:00

{Dear Uncle Pete}

Let me be very clear. We do appreciate the bags of gently used and highly stylish clothing you continually bestow upon Brandon. We do love the fact that we quite possibly will never have to purchase an article of clothing for Brandon again. I do love the skip in his step when he dons his new versace pants, and no longer needs to wait for me to do laundry for a shirt.

That said,

I am starting to get a little jealous. Jealousy is not a characteristic I wish to have. Our modest walk in closet is now bursting with Brandon's wardrobe, while mine is being swallowed whole. The way I see it, we have one option here.

{Dear Aunt Candy}
Can you share some love?

XOXO

Recent Things

2009-12-03T21:24:00.000-08:00

A few recent pictures...

Friends Thanksgiving with the Girls at Katelyn's house...

Thanksgiving Dinner with the Family

And my personal favorite....

Pop-pop's Orchard Boy

Brandon (Or "Uncle Bunny" as he is called) with our nephew Axel.

Hope you made some memories to be treasured this Thanksgiving!

2009-12-02T20:12:00.000-08:00

We had a delightful time at the 5th annual fancy hat party a few weekends ago. I think my favorite part was spending time with my sisters (sans Maggie unfortunately) getting all dolled up. Even our little brother Bryn got in on the dress up action!

I made my own hat out of vintage velvet leaves and ribbon, a vain attempt to be chic however, as it ended up sliding into my face all night. Moriah wore a humongous but nevertheless authentic sombrero, and Chelsea had the best hat of the night, hands down. It was a cheese hat!

We had a wonderful amount of fun, but I did have a difficult time leaving my husband home. I do not like this on-call business, not one bit, and do not intend to leave his side for the next several months.

2009-12-02T20:02:00.000-08:00

Can I just tell you how excited I am for this sweet girl to have a baby of her very own? Sarah is my inspiration for my future pregnancies, and I am living completely vicariously through her, let me tell you. I may not know much about pregnancy, but I know it is hard work to look as amazing as she does when you are nine months pregnant! Come on baby Wagner, we are so very excited to meet you!

2009-12-01T11:10:00.000-08:00

THANKSGIVING 2009

Thanksgiving is over, but I'm still savoring it.
This year started out with a bit of disappointment.
We had intended on having the family over in our home, but the plans fell through at the last minute.

My parents hosted it instead in Cashmere, and it couldn't have been more amazing.
I cooked the entire meal for twelve people, but luckily was able to talk Maggie and Chelsea into helping me with the pies. It was my first turkey ever, and I was so glad that I listened to my mother-in-law and roasted the bird upside down. The meat was so tender it fell completely off of the bone when we tried to move it.

We delighted ourselves in:

Turkey
Cranberry sauce infused with oranges
Peach Stuffing
Harvest Pumpkin Stuffing
Garlic and rosemary mashed potatoes
Roasted herbed vegetables
Panna Cotta with strawberries
Pumkin Pie
Apple Pie
Heartfelt conversation

It was simply wonderful. Luckily my parents have a good sized living room since we rarely leave it when we are all together. We spent four lovely lazy days together, which consisted of eating and napping all together over and over again. Perfect!

You should know that I am not a morning person, by any means. But sleeping in is not an option when my nephew Axel is near. I simply cannot wait to get out of bed to be the first in line for morning kisses. Hearing "Hi Abba Chan!" (Auntie Chan) Is probably my favorite thing in the world right now!

For some reason, my sister's child seems like he could very well be my own. It's a love I haven't quite experienced before. Even though I love all my nieces and nephews dearly. It's awfully hard to explain. I'm really missing him today.

The older I get, the more I realize just how blessed I am. I am so thankful that the designer of this universe hand picked each and every member of my family and chose to knit us together as a part of his creation. So very thankful, am I.

Random Things

2009-11-30T16:41:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. 34 questions? I'll try Aminta!

1. Where is your cell phone?
Somewhere deep within the bowels of my purse (I think). I rarely use it. I simply do not care for cellphones!

2. Your hair:
Pulled back into a pony tail, with a tuft of unruly bangs.

3. Your Father is:
The most wonderful man I have ever known. Just thinking of him brings tears to my eyes.

4. Your favorite food:
Just one? Creme Brulee! It's hard not to feel special and fancy when you eat it. And there's nothing like cracking through the sugar with your spoon!

5. Your dream from last night:
I really don't remember! I do remember being annoyed when I woke up because there was something puzzling about it, and I wanted to go back to sleep to figure it out!

6. Your favorite drink:
A naughty latte from starbucks with the the works, or a diet coke with my sisters.

7. Your dream(s)/goal(s):

To be a mother, and to raise my children with an appreciation for the simple pleasures of life. To keep my marriage loving and romantic, to be gracious and to have a servants heart. My dream is to be surrounded by my wonderful family, to honor God and to be intentional with my choices.

8. What room are you in:
The living room.

9. What is your Hobby: Sewing, baking, decorating, Learning new skills..etc...

10. What is your fear: Losing my father to cancer.

11. Where do you want to be in six years:
At home with my children, living near my family, and supporting my husband as he builds the business of his dreams.

12. Where were you last night:
In my cozy home snuggling with my adorable husband.

13. Something you are not:
Easily Satisfied and patient. Sometimes I think I am like Veruca Salt in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I want it, and I want it now!! This frustrates me about myself, and it's something I am continually working on.

14. Muffins:
Yum! Fresh Bluberries or raspberries are the best!

15. Wish list items: A baby, a new couch, frye boots, lancome anti-wrinkle cream....sigh.....my Christmas list is long!

16. Where did you grow up: Seattle, then Cashmere Washington.

17. Last thing you did:
Messaged my sister. She has a few emotional hangups and I have to coach her daily through her dating issues!

18. What are you wearing:
My "puffs." Our baby brother used to call changing into comfortable clothing "getting puffed."
To this day everyone in my family races to the bedroom after work to get all "puffed."

19. Your T.V.:
Is loud and annoying!

20.Your Pets:
Stella, a gentle pitbull (trust me, she's very ashamed of it)
Bear, a three-month old rhodesian ridgeback (and a tiny terror)
Creature, a darling and cuddly calico cat.

21. Your friends: Unique and irreplaceable.

22. Your life:
Near Perfect. I am in love with my God, my husband, my family. I wish my dad wasn't sick, and wish I didn't have health problems that make life feel like a chore rather than a blessing at times. Other than that, it's a very sweet existence.

23. Your Mood:
Cheerful!

24. Missing someone:
My family and my in-laws.

25. Vehicle:
A 1994 Ford Explorer that is in shambles. It was totaled last February and we bought it back for $150.00. Currently the hatchback won't even open. But it's better than walking to work, so I am grateful!

26. Something you are not wearing:
A bra. I am in my puffs!

27. Your favorite store:
Anthropologie

28. Your favorite color:
Blue, yellow, red and green. I just can never pick one!

29. When was the last time you laughed:
Today when I asked Brandon if I could pull taffy (a tradition we do at Christmas with two people) by myself if I threw it up in the air, and he thought I said "if I threw it to myself in the mirror" he was so puzzled. We both laughed pretty hard. Does he think I'm that blond?

30. When was the last time you cried:

Today at work. I work with people that have dementia and one of my ladies was frantically looking for her children. She couldn't understand why her "babies" would leave her. It's hard to explain to a loving mother that sacrificed everything for her children, why they are too busy for her now.

Also, when we were playing music bingo, and one of the men broke down when the song "You are my sunshine" played. His wife Millie recently passed away, they loved each other until the very end, and it breaks my heart just thinking about it.

31. Your Best Friend:
All three of My sisters. I also have an assistant named Beverly. She is in her sixties, but we laugh together, cry together, and we support one another in everything. Age really isn't an issue, and she has become one of my dearest friends.

32. One place you go over and over:
Starbucks. A habit I hope to curb!

33. One Person that e-mails me regularly:
Probably no one person in particular, but we always seem to have a sibling email thread going.

34. Favorite place to eat:
Just one? Pf Changs maybe?

I would really like to know more about Courtney and Sarah. So if you have time girls-- tag, your it!

2009-11-06T09:56:00.000-08:00

I'm whisking myself away this weekend.
I can't miss another special memory with my sweet sisters.
We have planned a special sister night, and we will be dressing to the nines
and sharing good food and heartfelt conversation. One of my greatest
pleasures in this life.
I also have to make sure my darling nephew Axel still recognizes me
as his #1 Auntie.
I will be back with photos to share.
Take care of yourselves, sweet friends!
Enjoy some simple pleasures of your own.

2009-10-28T14:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight will most certainly be a night at Hastings.
With my creme brulee latte, curled up on one of the big
comfy couches.
I will slurp my drink annoyingly and thumb through magazines
and books that I have no intention to buy.
What do you mean this isn't a library?
Poor girls have to find fun for free.

2009-10-26T20:06:00.000-07:00

Today is a very sad day.
I watched one of my favorite ever ladies draw her last breath.
Comeletta, or Commie as we called her, was beautiful, witty and a complete joy to
everyone who knew her. I will always remember her knack for scrabble, and the many hours
we spent working just a little bit longer on those thousand piece puzzles we conquered together.
She taught me so much about living graciously. The differences in our age had no merit to the fact that we were kindred spirits. I will always admire her for her strength and
inner beauty. She raised ten wonderful and rambunctious children who loved her immensely. She somehow kept them in order while still keeping that sweet, quiet whisper of a voice that was so soothing to listen to. My life is infinitely better just because our lives crossed for a short while.
Rest now, sweet friend. I know the arms of Jesus hugged your weary spirit extra tight today.

2009-10-25T18:43:00.000-07:00

Oh for the love of Pete. Can you imagine the smile on DH's face after opening his lunchbox to find a mini apple pie like this? I think this is quite possibly the most adorable way to serve pie. Ever.
They have pumpkin ones too...

2009-10-25T17:42:00.001-07:00

Oh Ruche. Why do you have to come along and tempt me with your adorable and affordable articles of clothing? Did you forget that we are in the midst of a recession, and that there are bills to be paid? How could you be so careless?

2009-10-24T12:28:00.000-07:00

"There's such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn't be half so interesting."
-Anne of Green Gables