I'll be 26 weeks on Sunday which gives me about eleven weeks until my "twin" due date.
Eleven weeks ago was just like yesterday.. Which scares me a bit.
We are soooo not ready!
I'm really trying to prepare mentally, since there is not a whole lot I can do physically.
I've read so many books, and have tried to come up with an idea of what our schedule will look like, and wow, is it intense!

Sample Routine: This will most likely change once the babies come.  I'm sure many surprises are in store!

Early Morning	Twin A	Twin B	Gage
6:00am	Feed	Awake	Asleep
6:30pm	Independent Play	Feed
7:00am-7:45am	Diaper + Awake Activity	Diaper + Awake Activity
7:45am	Naptime	Naptime

Mommy Rest:  8:00am-9:00am

Midmorning	Twin A	Twin B	Gage
9:00am	Feed	Awake
9:30am	Independent Play	Feed	Awake
10:00am-10:45	Diaper + Awake Activity	Diaper + Awake Activity	Breakfast
10:45am	Naptime	Naptime	Nap or Quiet time

Mommy Rest: 11:00am-11:45am

Afternoon	Twin A	Twin B	Gage
11:45am	Asleep	Asleep	Lunch
12:00pm	Feed	Awake	Special Toy Basket
12:30pm	Independent Play	Feed	Special Toy Basket
1:00pm	Diaper + Awake Activity	Diaper + Awake Activity	Naptime
1:45pm	Naptime	Naptime	Naptime

Mommy Rest: 2:00pm-3:00pm

Late Afternoon	Twin A	Twin B	Gage
3:00pm	Feed	Awake	Asleep?
3:30pm	Independent Play	Feed	Awake
4:00pm	Diaper + Awake Activity	Diaper + Awake Activity	Playtime + Snack
4:45pm	Naptime	Naptime	Playtime

Early Evening	Twin A	Twin B	Gage
5:45pm	Asleep	Asleep	Dinner
6:00pm	Feed	Awake/Independent Play	Finish Dinner + playtime with Daddy
6:30pm	Independent Play	Feed	Bath with Daddy
7:00pm	Bath time	Bath time	Jammies/teeth/story
7:30pm	Jammies	Jammies	Bedtime
8:00pm	Feed + Bed	Awake
8:30pm	Asleep	Feed + Bed

Mom and Dad rest time: 9:00pm-11:00pm

Late Evening	Twin A	Twin B	Gage
11:00pm	Feed	Asleep	Asleep
11:30:pm	Back to Bed	Feed + Bed

Middle of Night	Twin A	Twin B	Gage
?am	Feed + Bed	Feed + Bed	Asleep

I'm having a big reality check about what is to come with the arrival of our twins.  I've found a few blogs that feature life with twins, one in particular that is making me really, really excited to have all boys. I never thought I would say that, but I'm starting to really crush on the idea.

I just can't wait to see the bond they develop, with each other and with Gage.  I think life is going to be bursting full of fun and chaos for us, and maybe after a few more weeks of solid night sleep, I will be ready to take it on.

Doubtful, but hopeful at the same time!

The other day I thought Gage was awake from his nap,
so I peeked into his room to find him curled into a tiny ball,
chest heaving slowly.

I can't remember the last time I watched him sleep.
Suddenly I was overcome with gratefulness, and love and sadness all at once.

Thinking of how not so long ago, we brought him home from the hospital and there was not much
else to do other than watch the sleeping wonder in my arms.

He doesn't sleep in my arms anymore, and though this saves my back from ache, my heart aches in its place.

I feel so guilty some days, I only have three or four months before we welcome our twins, and yes, I am excited to meet them, and to see their sweet faces and to hold them in my arms for hours.

But I feel sad because I know that each day with new feedings and burpings and time spent tending to these helpless infants will mean a day for Gage spent learning how to let go of Mama, to do things on his own.

He's only 1 year old and I feel guilty for turning my baby into a big boy so soon.  I wonder if my arms will be big enough, and strong enough to nurture all three.
Sometimes I want to hold on so tight to him, and never let go.  This little boy who has changed my life and my heart, and taught me more than anyone. I don't want him to change.

I'm afraid and overwhelmed by my job of raising three boys into Godly men.  It's the most important job I will ever have.

How can you teach someone to love God with all their hearts, to serve him and others, to resist the desires of a sinful flesh, and to resist the enticing temptations of this sick world?

How do you teach honesty and loyalty, and hard work and chivalry?

By being, and modeling and crucifying yourself in Christ so that he lives through you.

So much of me wants to turn back time and wrap my sleeping baby up tight and hold him, safe.

But I know I can't hold him forever.  I have to let go. I have to teach and be teachable.

I have to hold on to Christ.  I have to allow Jesus to hold my boys while I begin the painful process of letting go even now.

Pray for me, sweet friends.  Sometimes I feel so very small in light of all that I am called to do.
But then I remember that to be small is better than being too big, too strong and too independent on my own.

There's a soft place in the palm of the Lord that I will always fit into.  I hope I can hold onto that truth forever.

I am enjoying these days with my fair-haired boy so much.
Our mornings have been extra sweet lately.
While I'm working to get breakfast on the table, I am sweetly serenaded by
singing over the baby monitor.
Then the three of us sit down together for a quick morning visit before Daddy is
off to work.  Gage loves to wave him off with blown kisses!

Then he either goes straight to his play kitchen to whip up something delicious, or climbs his step ladder in the kitchen for a good view while I wash the dishes.


He follows me from room to room, babbling all the way while I gather the laundry or make the bed.  He loves to do little chores like feeding the dogs hand fulls of dog food, and he loves to push the broom around the kitchen just like mama.

Pretty soon it's nap time, and he goes down with a lullabye so easily.  I am so thankful for that!
I like to slip a little suitcase full of toys and books at the foot of his crib for him to find when he wakes up.  It's so fun to hear the "Ooohs" over the monitor when he finds them!

We love to go outside in the afternoons, to point at trees and birds, and to get some fresh air.  He is such an outdoorsy boy, just like his Dad.

And after one more nap it's soon time to welcome Daddy with a family hug at the door.
Things are so pleasant right now.

 And while I'm nervous about adding two more to the mix, It's such a happy thought to think of two more boys like our dear little Gage.

Oh we are blessed!

Life has just been happening by so fast lately.

I am enjoying each and every minute of it.  I am leaning on the Lord for strength and energy,
and I am really enjoying my pregnancy at this point.

Not a single day goes by that I don't smile and marvel at the idea of TWO little boys growing
inside me.  I look at my own little Gage and can't hardly believe my luck.  I am well on my way
to the big happy family I have always dreamed of.

I look at my husband and think of the life we are cultivating together, through hard work and aches and pains, and a lot of growing and stretching.  And a lot of joy. So much joy that I am fully aware that when I look back on my life as an old woman, these will be the days that will bring a smile to my face.

It's a New year, and of course I've begun to make lists... list about what I want to do differently, how I want to be different.  A million little things that I want to change and improve.

Overwhelming myself thinking; how on earth am I going to cope with the arrival of three children in under two years?
I'm not clean enough, driven enough, I don't have enough energy or patience, and I love my sleep more than anything! How am I going to get through the endless days and nights, change all those diapers, nurse those babies all the while giving Gage and my husband the attention they need?  What if I lose myself, gain more weight, become a dull person to be around?

It's a lot for any one person to handle. I have the tendency to want God to change me now, all at once, so I will be the super woman I think I need to be. 

I think God led me to this verse to show me a different way:
2 Peter 1:5-7 (NIV)

 ⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷ and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 

All the things I think I need to be are possible.  But they don't happen all at once.  It's the little choices and the little changes and the slow and gradual molding of my heart that will transform me into who God wants me to be.  Not a list of resolutions.  I am looking forward to the coming year even with the knowledge that God has begun a difficult work in me that will take a lifetime to finish. 

I am praying with all my heart that I can get out of the way to let him lead.

Happy 2012 dear friends!

30 Days of Gratefulness

{Day ?}

Pretty ridiculous that I can't stick to posting a simple list a day for a month, isn't it?
I have been recording my grateful lists in my journal, but somehow they haven't made it to my blog.


Oh well. Se la vie.
 Today I am grateful for...

• A really memorable night out this week with all my favorite friends.

• The answered prayers for a wonderful group of friends to share life with

• Apple juice. It is the only thing I can keep down lately.  Whoever heard of morning sickness that get's worse at 10 weeks? Okay, this is turning into a complaint... Sorry.

• The most beautiful blue engraved bible that was dropped off on my doorstep by a "mystery someone.  It felt like a hug straight from Jesus.  

•  My too sweet for words baby who is toddling around in the cuddliest lambswool suit.  He just walks around all day saying sweet nothings and giggling to himself.  Heart melted.

• The ability to stay home when I am sick.

• My hard working husband.  Oh he is wonderful.

• Snow outside.  Just a dusting, but so pretty.

• Enjoying my family and dreaming of our family to be.

• My generous mom and her gift of the comfiest BabysRus nursing rocker that I have so desperately wanted!

• Recognizing what a good God I serve, and seeing evidences of prayers answered and my own heart + life changing.

30 Days of Gratefulness

{Day 6}

Today I am grateful for....

A giant cup of Earl Grey + soymilk and honey.  Great coffee replacement!

This song still in my head from church last Sunday

Our church. it feels like home.

Our new car.  I still can't believe it!

Our business.  Feeling amazingly blessed!

A phone call to my sissy

Celebrating my Grammie-in-law's birthday tonight

Progresso Soup + Crackers

That Gage still takes 2 solid naps

Our Girls Bible Study

Eating apple crisp every night... I know, horrible!

Praying for loved ones and knowing that they pray for me

30 Days of Gratefulness

Day 5
Today I am grateful for...

Snuggly hugs from my tiny man
Emails from dear friends
Words of encouragement
Homemakers by Choice podcasts
Managing to get the house clean (almost)
Having our bible study lesson mirror what's going on in my life
so closely that it's spooky
The playroom
Seeing Brandon flash me a hand signal for "I love you" that
we've been doing since we were 16
Feeling lucky and chosen for no good reason at all

30 Days of Gratefulness

{Day 4}

I know this is supposed to be day 5, but it just didn't happen yesterday.  I've been getting these horrible Aura migraines lately, and looking at a computer screen is just about the last thing I want to do when that happens, so, I do hope you understand...

Today I am Thankful for~

• A lazy Saturday home with my boys! 
• Cooking a large breakfast and eating it in my pajamas
• Making Lefsa tomorrow with Brandon's sweet Aunt and Grandma
• A last minute call to come and eat Aunt Candy's famous lasagna for dinner last night.  I wasn't feeling well, but I couldn't turn down her lasagna!

• Dreaming up nursery plans and wondering what the sexes will be...
• Gage's newest word: "Happy!"
• Watching Luna and Gage play together, they are just so sweet!
• Putting together a package for a special girl, for the Christmas swap!
• Thanksgiving next weekend at the Ranch! {We're having it early}
• Morning sickness... As bad as it is, it helps me know that everything is going well
• Finding a contact for a multiples support group... {Support group? REALLY?}

What are you Thankful for?