Thursday, May 27, 2010
Yesterday we had an ultrasound because of a puzzling and terrible pain that I have had for over a week now. My fears were relieved when we were able to catch a glimpse of this amazing little boy that is growing strong and healthy inside me.
As the images of his face appeared on the ultrasound screen in real time, I was overcome. "I love you, so much!" was all I could think as we watched his dear little expressions on the screen. His button nose, his quivering lip, his little fisted hands reaching up to rub his eyes. This is becoming so much more real, and I am absolutely overwhelmed from head to toe with love for this tiny boy of mine.
Do you know how it feels to call him mine? I know for sure many of you do. It's just that I have dreamt of what it might feel like for so long, and now it's finally becoming a reality. It seems strange that just a few weeks ago I was wishing very much for a little girl. I can't fathom wanting anything else, now that I know him. He is so perfect to me already.
I go about my day now, imagining him sleeping in the back seat as I drive, sitting in his nursery chair dreaming of holding him in my arms, rocking him to sleep. Waking up several times in the middle of the night, which would normally drive me crazy, but now makes me smile because I know even my internal clock is adjusting in anticipation.
I am so, so hopelessy in love with this little one. My heart is fuller than full.