Life has just been happening by so fast lately.

I am enjoying each and every minute of it.  I am leaning on the Lord for strength and energy,
and I am really enjoying my pregnancy at this point.

Not a single day goes by that I don't smile and marvel at the idea of TWO little boys growing
inside me.  I look at my own little Gage and can't hardly believe my luck.  I am well on my way
to the big happy family I have always dreamed of.

I look at my husband and think of the life we are cultivating together, through hard work and aches and pains, and a lot of growing and stretching.  And a lot of joy. So much joy that I am fully aware that when I look back on my life as an old woman, these will be the days that will bring a smile to my face.

It's a New year, and of course I've begun to make lists... list about what I want to do differently, how I want to be different.  A million little things that I want to change and improve.

Overwhelming myself thinking; how on earth am I going to cope with the arrival of three children in under two years?
I'm not clean enough, driven enough, I don't have enough energy or patience, and I love my sleep more than anything! How am I going to get through the endless days and nights, change all those diapers, nurse those babies all the while giving Gage and my husband the attention they need?  What if I lose myself, gain more weight, become a dull person to be around?

It's a lot for any one person to handle. I have the tendency to want God to change me now, all at once, so I will be the super woman I think I need to be. 

I think God led me to this verse to show me a different way:
2 Peter 1:5-7 (NIV)

 ⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷ and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 

All the things I think I need to be are possible.  But they don't happen all at once.  It's the little choices and the little changes and the slow and gradual molding of my heart that will transform me into who God wants me to be.  Not a list of resolutions.  I am looking forward to the coming year even with the knowledge that God has begun a difficult work in me that will take a lifetime to finish. 

I am praying with all my heart that I can get out of the way to let him lead.

Happy 2012 dear friends!